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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Food for Thought

Food plays a great role in sex. Not a particular surprise to most people...everyone has heard those sayings that green M&Ms make you horny or oysters enhance men's stamina, but there is more to it than that. According to Men's Health website, there are some foods that are better than others to push our sex drives into overdrive. To pump things up, try one of these smoothies half an hour before crunch time:

Smoothie for Him
The Built-to-Last Power Smoothie

1 cup blueberries
1 cup vanilla yogurt
2 Tbsp flax seeds
1 cup orange juice
1 cup ice

Consider this man’s ultimate erection insurance. The main reason? It’s loaded with two of the most potent circulation enhancers out there: soluble fiber and antioxidants. Soluble fiber helps push excess cholesterol through your digestive system before it can be broken down, absorbed, and deposited along the walls of your arteries. Antioxidants attack free radicals before they have the chance to lower nitric oxide levels. And since nitric oxide helps deliver oxygen to your blood, the higher the level, the better your blood flow

Smoothie for Her
The Lusty Latte


2 shots of espresso (or 6 ounces of strong coffee)
1 cup skim milk
2 Tbsp dark chocolate syrup
1 cup crushed ice

More than just providing a caffeine buzz and a host of antioxidants, java increases blood flow to your genitals, making sensitive nerve endings more easily accessed and stimulated. A Southwestern University study even found that female rats wanted more sex after a shot of caffeine. Add to that a big hit of calcium, another important contributor to effective blood flow, and a swirl of chocolate, and you have a scintillating shake to wake up to. Chocolate contains a host of chemicals to brighten your mood, including anadamine, which targets the same receptors as THC, and phenylethylamine, which produces a cozy, euphoric feeling. It’s no wonder a new Italian study of 163 women shows that those who regularly eat chocolate report enhanced sex drive and sexual satisfaction.

Or opt for a breakfast in bed. The best breakfast to enhance an after-brunch sex session: a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Sandwich. The foolish see an Egg McMuffin; you should see the ingredients for sex. The combo provides extra zinc—a mineral that she needs to stay well lubricated and you need to keep producing semen—and niacin. This B vitamin is essential for the secretion of histamine, the chemical that helps trigger explosive sneezes and orgasms. It also has a perfect balance of fat, since studies have found that too much or too little dietary fat can decrease levels of libido-boosting testosterone.

Not to mention, food can play a great tool to seduce your partner. Remember, both men and women are visual creatures. Play that up. Anything that can draw attention to your mouth or other enticing body parts can be a great turn-on. Some foods to try: strawberries, chocolate (preferably dark), cheese. Any type of finger food works great. Also, bottled drinks or anything in a wine glass, when drunk from with with the proper technique, can be used to entice your partner. Also, try feeding each other. This can turn quite naughty very quickly! Use your imagination and set up a spread for both of you to enjoy.

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Reflections

I don't generally post twice in one day, but I felt the need to address some of the comments made regarding my post about mirrors. In response to some of the comments posted on the "Mirror, Mirror" post, just remember that even though you cringe when you see yourself, your partner doesn't...otherwise they wouldn't be there naked with you! As far as women being the ones to be admired...well, I know many women (including myself) that can appreciate the beauty that lies in a naked woman, but from a woman's perspective, the naked male form is just as appealing to the eye. Men are so different from us...there is something intriguing and mysterious about the male body. It does to us what a naked woman does to you. As far as being comfortable in front of a mirror...just remember that confidence is the best beauty enhancer. When you know you're hot, you will become hot and your partner will make sure you feel that way because being confident only makes him/her hotter for you! Another reminder for the ladies: You are the only naked woman in the room, thereby making you the most beautiful naked woman your partner can lay eyes on and he is there for a reason. He sees something in you that makes you stand out from the crowd. You've got it, flaunt it!

Slow Motion

We've all had those times when all we want is fast, hard sex. Sometimes those urges for quickies tend to overshadow the other options we have. Stress from work, life and other outside factors like smoking, drinking and bad eating habits can interfere and make sex a bit of a chore. That doesn't necessarily mean we don't want sex, we just want instant gratification so we can move on with life. Bu faster isn't always better for you or your partner. Constantly thrusting faster will only wear you and your partner out faster. Instead of a few kisses and a bit of fondling before moving straight to the fastest thrust you can manage, try taking the time to really turn your partner on. Maybe start with a relaxing massage...naked, of course! Massage oils are always a nice touch, but not always necessary. You astride your partner naked will not only help them to relax more, it is also one hell of a turn on to feel your partner astride you naked. No matter which one of you is doing the straddling! Cheesy as it may sound, try lighting a candle or two...the soft lighting will add to the allure and sensuality of the situation. Or you might want to try reading a bit from an erotic book. I have found "Letters to Penthouse" full of exciting stories, some vividly detailed. Don't have a book handy? Talk to your partner about some of the new things you'd like to try...or maybe even those things you would only dream of trying. It is unbelievable how turned on both of you will get just picturing it happening. When you finally get around to penetration, guys, try varying the thrusts. Start out slowly and gradually build to a faster pace. When you feel yourself nearing climax, pull back and slow it down for a few thrusts and then build up again. You will not only reach orgasm, but your partner, who needs a longer time to get to her climaxing point, will join you for even more intense tremors of pleasure than if you just thrust as fast as you can until it's done. The object of sex is pleasure. Why miss out on more intense pleasure when you can intensify not only yours, but your partner's pleasure too? You will have her (and yourself!) coming back for more...pun completely and naughtily intended! Next up: thrusting techniques that she is sure to love!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Self Preservation

Masturbation...everyone (almost) does it, but not many, aside from guys, will admit to it. And even guys have a hard time fessing up to their partners. And why is that? Usually, they are expecting indignation on the parts of their partners. And you would be surprised how many women actually don't have a problem with their partners masturbating. But, due to the bad rap that masturbation has gotten over the years, it is generally a subject that is not up for discussion. Let's face it...men do it...women do it...and all enjoy it. Who knows, better than you do, how to pleasure you? But, once you've gotten past the embarrassment factor, is it an experience that you have have ever considered sharing with your partner? After all, you share almost everything else, right? But how to bring it up...well, that isn't all that difficult. I'd have to say the best time to bring it up is either during sex (this can be part of your "dirty talk"...it will really get your partner's mind wandering), before sex (if maybe the two of you are contemplating something different...it can really get things heated up) or after sex (when you are both sated ad full of pleasure, your mind will be open to anything!). I know it's a little hard to get turned on by the "technical" terminology, "masturbation," so use different terms instead. Try telling your partner about your last masturbation session...let them know that you couldn't get them off of your mind and you got so hot thinking about them that you had to relieve a little sexual frustration. Believe me, while thinking about watching your partner touch themselves most intimately is a turn on, it is nothing compared to actually watching it in person!!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Most women, when naked and faced with a mirror, tend to cringe and shy away. All they see are their imperfections. Generally, men are the complete opposite. Men love looking at themselves naked and if they are in the throes of passion, well, that is even better. Having sex in front of mirrors has been around since before Jesus walked the earth. Centuries of men have had great mirrors installed so that they can indulge in the act of voyeurism. There was once a Roman emperor who had huge concave mirrors installed so that everything looked bigger...no I am not joking! But seriously, mirrors are a fantastic addition to any bedroom. Not only does it give you a grand view, but it also answers the age old question, "What do I look like while I'm having sex?" (I know you have all asked that question at some point, though maybe only in your mind.) And the answer may not be as bad as you would think. As I said, men love mirrors and women, while not as likely to admit to it, do too. There is something a tad naughty about admitting to enjoying looking at ourselves during sex. And having mirrors in your bedroom isn't as tacky as some of you might be thinking. It really opens things up and makes a room feel roomier. As for the naughty factor, well that depends on how many you put up and where. Most people assume the ceiling, but these days, what with ceiling fans and all, that isn't always practical. Not to mention, the person on top kind of gets cheated out of the fantastic view. Try hanging a good sized mirror above the headboard or on the wall opposite the bed, at just the right level. Or better yet, both! Given the right lighting (as cliche as it sounds, try a candle or two...it lights and shadows all the right places!) and ambiance (insert loads of great foreplay here), you should both enjoy the view! Another trick to try? If you've been wanting to make your own "dirty little sex tape", or even if you already have your own private library, try facing the camera towards the mirror instead of filming yourselves directly. It should actually improve the view and angle (especially if you are a bit self-conscious) and, let's face it, the fact that you've videoed yourselves watching yourselves only serves to make it all the naughtier!

Kisses xxx

Monday, October 6, 2008

Anonymously Yours

I was thinking over the weekend and realized that some people may be hesitant to comment or voice their opinion due to the rather racy nature of my blog/site and I completely understand. My whole belief isn't that you should discuss your love of being naughty with your kids, parents or neighbors, but that you should be open about it in the bedroom. Because with that comes a great freedom to fully enjoy yourself, your parnter and your sex life which can make a huge difference in your life in general. So for those of you who would rather voice your opinions and comments anonymously, you can e-mail me at thenaughtydiva@gmail .com and I will gladly honor your desire to be discreet and if you want, even post your comments anonymously. I also get a lot of questions as well, so feel free.

Kisses xxx

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hedonism at its Best

Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is of ultimate importance, the most important pursuit. So how many of you could stand adding a little of that into your lives?! All of us, I think. So I have discovered a resort that plays to that philosophy to the hilt. In Jamaica, at Hedonism Resorts, anything goes. They are an all-inclusive, fantabulous resort, where anything goes. And I mean anything. From swim-up rooms to mirrors on the ceilings to the see thru slide that winds through the disco, pleasure is the ultimate priority at Hedonism. You can do anything, be anybody and no one passes judgement. Why? Because every person there is in the same position as you. No, this is not some sort of swingers resort, although, I am sure there are some guests who participate in swinging quite regularly. You participation only goes as far as you want it to. They are well known for honeymoons and weddings as well as wild times. Looking for a new twist on your next vacation? Check it out...you'll love every minute of it! Can't quite afford the luxury and/or time required for a super inclusive vacation? You can have the same thing right in your own backyard. At home or a local hotel, you can turn your environment into a hedonistic den of iniquity! If spending an evening at a local hotel, splurge for a jacuzzi room. Pick up some candles (and something to light them with!), easy finger foods like grapes, cheese, sweets and a bottle or two of wine or other spirit and pack nothing but maybe a sexy piece of lingerie or naughty outfit . All that is required for a hedonistic weekend to be successful is you and your partner's willingness to focus on nothing but pleasure for both of you. This is the time to try something new that you've been thinking about and time for you to focus only on each other. Go back an read the "Art of Seduction" post and take advantage of it. Surprise your partner when they get home with a drink and a tray of finger foods. Have the location set up with candles and soft music and truly relish in the pleasure each of you finds with the other. Have a great weekend, I know I will!

Kisses xxx

Friday, October 3, 2008

A New Twist II

Alright guys...it's your turn to please your lady! If you've been following along, you have probably realized that it takes a lot more for women to get over the edge than it does for you. Women require patience on her partner's part. You have got to be dedicated to seeing it through, because eventually she'll get there and if you help her get there, she'll come back for more!
In your teenage years, you probably made a beeline for her panties because that was her limit. And with all that practice, your hand probably became magic. To both you and her. Let's face it, your goal was to make her so hot that she'd lose her inhibitions and the panties would disappear. Back then her clitoris was probably your focus and her hot spot. In a way, that remains true still. A clitoral orgasm occurs more often than other types. Yes, there are other types. According to Taoists, the female body has 3 gates of pleasure...yes 3. Want to hit them all? Read on...

Gate 1: The Clitoris
This is a gate you have probably passed through plenty before, be it with your current partner or previous partners. If not, it's time to get some practice. You are probably used to lying beside her during this activity. And sometimes, it works fine. For a new twist on the old, try sitting up with her lying between your legs, her back against your chest and reach around for stimulation. You can also try bending her over a chair or the bed, but I find that for most women, standing requires too much focus and the last thing you want is her being distracted. If she's not wet, don't worry. It doesn't mean she isn't enjoying it. Women don't become instantly wet the moment their interest is peaked. Well, okay, sometimes they do, but not always. This is where a good lubricant will come in handy. Start with a basic stroke, running you finger along the inner lips, slightly and gently brushing the clitoris. Now, come around to face her and let her lie back. Shape your fingers into a "V" around her clitoris and start a rocking motion by pressing down with a little pressure and then pulling back. Your arm should be moving back and up. Alternate the strokes and as she reaches climax, get her to bear down to heighten the sensation.

Gate 2: The G-Spot
This type of orgasm can be out of this world. It may be something she is hesitant to try due to the fact that she may actually ejaculate. Yes, female ejaculation is real. It is up to you to make her comfortable with it. Not only will you receive the "Best Lover Ever" label, it will probably serve to make you extremely hot! Now, before you get started, you may have to participate in a bit of "emotional foreplay". Because if she is thinking too much, it ain't gonna happen. Make her feel loved, hot and sexually adored before you get started. She has to be able to completely lose control for this to happen. And trust me (and tell her to trust you!) it will be worth it! Her g-spot is going to be located on the front wall of her vagina. Even those who debate the existence of such a spot agree that front wall stimulation is the best way for a female to ejaculate. This means that, with her on her back, you fingers should go in palm side up and curl up and around. The elusive g-spot tends to be rather high up, so it's okay to enlist the aide of a g-spot vibrator. Having her sit between your legs (as above in Gate 1 only facing you) might be helpful. Inserting your finger(s) or the vibrator, make as if you are beckoning someone. The area will feel slightly spongy with ridges and will raise the more it is stimulated. Now, don't forget, clitoral stimulation is not off limits. Use your other fingers to stimulate it. Massage her g-spot continuously and don't give up. It takes us women a little longer to get there. Alternate the massaging technique with the "come hither" motion. Whatever you do, keep going. As the pressure builds, try getting her to relax as opposed to her tensing them, which will be her natural inclination. Assure her that it will be worth it and that no matter what, she is the hottest girl you have ever laid eyes on. Tell her all through and don't be afraid to talk dirty...chances are she'll love it!

Gate 3 will come later on, probably in the book. I can't give away all the secrets, can I? Now guys (and/or ladies), go enjoy your partners and make 'em hot!

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A New Twist

They say that a woman can't give a guy a better hand job than he can give himself...which is probably true. After all, he has been intimately acquainted with his hand a lot longer than you have, but I am a firm believer that you can come so close that he will prefer your hand over his own. Spiritual sex (i.e. Tantra, Kama Sutra and Taoism) puts a great emphasis on foreplay. To them, foreplay is not a means to an end as it has become in today's society. Each act of foreplay is a singular act of pleasure. The hand job tends to be the first and most basic form of foreplay. These days, it is thought of as a last resort once you've introduced oral sex and intercourse into the relationship; a place you go when nothing else seems to work. Over the next few posts, I will be reintroducing both men and women to the illustriously fabulous hand job...both for him and for her, so be watching!

Today: A Guide for Her to Him
Let's face it. You say, "A hand job...that's a joke, right?" Absolutely not. Spiritual sex devotees would probably roll in their graves at the sight of a wasted sexual act that can function as more than just the appetizer. You are both losing out if the only time you wrap your hands around his "manhood". His penis is extremely fascinating and what better way to explore it than with your hands and your eyes? And what better way to make it more pleasurable for both of you than to add some new techniques into the mix? All techniques, even the tried and true ones, work better with lube. If you don't own any, get some. It is worth having around and can come in extremely handy when you want to be spontaneous. No matter what you try, just remember that if he uncircumcised, be gentle. He will be more sensitive than a man who has been circumcised.

Technique 1: The Faux Vagina
Lace your fingers together, interlocking your thumbs and leaving a small opening in the middle, sort of like a fake vagina (hence the name!). With his penis fitting nicely into the opening, move your hands up and down while keeping a firm (not hard) grip.

Technique 2: Erotic Massage
Pretend you are an erotic masseuse. With his penis laying flat against his belly, massage up and down the middle of the shaft with your thumbs, as a masseuse would massage a the spine with their thumbs.

Technique 3: The Fire Starter
Remember the fire starting technique of rolling a stick between your hands? The same technique applies here. Start at the base of his penis with one hand on either side, and using your hands, slowly roll and rub your way up, then work your way back down again. Start of slowly, increasing your grip and speed as he nears climax.

Just remember to use plenty of lubrication. Things tend to move easier with it and let's face it, friction isn't always a good thing. Anyone remember the "jean burn" created when you were younger and tended to grope outside the clothing before getting more uninhibited? Sort of like carpet burn, only on the penis and created by the rubbing of clothes instead of carpet. Ouch! Next installment...A Guide to Her for Him. Stay tuned!

Kisses xxx

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Revel in the Moment

I feel it important to state that the whole point of sex, besides breeding, is to enjoy yourself & your partner, and enjoy the experience and the moment. Sex is about feeling and not doing. Because by feeling, not only will you "do" you will also attain a new level of physical feeling. You have to learn to focus on feeling it. Instead of taking for granted all the little nuances, enjoy them and revel in them. Make them the biggest part of your experience. The looks, the caresses, the seductive whispers...it heightens your sense of pleasure. Remember, you will always come across that one-night-stand at the local bar, but when you look back on all of your various sexual experiences, that one will be the one you remember the least of. It is the ones that you find yourself thinking of randomly...the ones you can't stop thinking about...the ones you want to relive time and again that are the truly mind-blowing experiences. That's all for now guys, but I always love getting input from readers, so let me know what you are thinking.

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Sausage and Milk...Yummy!

Okay...everyone does it at some point. You look in the mirror and think, "Do I look fat?" or "Is my beard/mustache manly enough?" or any number of other thoughts that creep into our minds when it has been a while since our last "fling". We are our own worst critics. If we can't appreciate who we are, then how can we expect the opposite/same sex to appreciate us? The old adage goes, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" I will be the first one to say that there is nothing wrong with a little free milk every now and again. But remember guys, the ladies have also realized that they don't have to buy the whole pig just to get a little sausage either. And there is nothing wrong with free milk and sausage...I mean they're always giving away samples at the grocery store, right? But if you don't let the person you are giving it away to realize your value, then what is the point? That, my friend, is simply a one night stand. And while I realize that they do sometimes happen, they should not be the norm. You are worth way more than that. If you are going to have casual sex, at least have it with someone who will appreciate the effort you put in to getting him/her to sample the milk/sausage. In other words, make him/her work for it!! Seduce, entice, lure. And if they don't return the effort and the favor, then they are not worth it. Find someone who is. Find someone that wants nothing more than to jump your bones after your little show of seduction and enticing. You can see it in their eyes...they can't wait to get you naked and alone. And if you can't see it, move on, because if it isn't there after that, then it never will be and it is their loss. Those are the people that have stopped truly enjoying sex and what is the point if you can't truly enjoy it?!

Kisses xxx

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The Art of Seduction

Seduction...it brings a lot to mind. Such as Kim Basinger in Basic Instinct for one. Or several other scenes in various movies like Sliver, 91/2 Weeks, Henry & June, and a multitude of others. But in real life, what does seduction really involve? If you are lucky enough to be a Kim Basinger or Sharon Stone look-a-like and "live"-a-like, then congrats to you. You probably have no need to hear what I am about to say. But to those of us out there who are real people and not Hollywood stars living on a movie set, then read on...

Webster online defines "seduction" as being lead away from a usual or proper course by offering some pleasure or advantage. When trying to seduce the opposite sex, this is exactly what we try to do to get their attention. There are a number of ways to seduce and be seduced both in and out of the bedroom. What I am talking about today will start outside the bedroom and hopefully end up in the bedroom.

For centuries, women have used the same method to seduce men. And it has always worked. We use our bodies to appeal to a man's sexual appetite. Men are visual creatures by nature. They enjoy looking, touching, tasting a woman's body. But remember, don't give it all away. Make him work for it. Because if you do give it all away up front, it defeats the purpose and makes our ultimate goal impossible. If not impossible, then their isn't the same urgency as if you were to keep a little mystery about it. Our goal, ladies, is to get him into the bedroom. If you display it all up front, then what's the rush? He has already seen it and it is no longer his number 1 priority. Displaying just the right amount of skin...a hint of your breasts, a shirt that gives glimpses of your waist and the small of your back, a skirt that shows off your legs, but not so short that all he has to do is drop something to see it all. Our goal is to heighten the senses and make him want to jump your bones! Don't get me wrong. There is always a time and place for showing it all up front. Like when you are waiting in a sexy piece of lingerie or a naughty school girl outfit when he gets home from work or when you walk out of the bathroom and surprise him in nothing but a pearl necklace around your neck. But those are treats and we are talking about everyday seduction. A way to build anticipation. Wear a low cut shirt and make sure you lean over him while he is sitting at the computer or on the couch. It will make him want to see more. Or, if wearing a skirt, make sure he gets a glimpse of your upper thigh when you sit down. Better yet, don't wear anything underneath and whisper in his ear that you aren't wearing any panties, but whisper it when he can't do anything about it, like at a restaurant or before you put the kids to bed. Make him visualize...the more time he has to think about it, the more intense he will be in his desire for you. Another thing, when you are having dinner together, use the food as part of your seduction. Anything that draws attention to your mouth will put his sex drive into overdrive!
Guys, women are just as visually driven as you are. It may be slightly different, but we are still visually stimulated. The one thing that gets a majority of women is not how you look, but how you look at her. The number one trait that women pay attention to the most in the opposite sex, besides personality, is eyes. Women are suckers for eyes. And it's not about blue eyes or brown eyes or any other color, it's about what you can say with your eyes. And believe me, you boys can say a lot! Even if you don't realize it. Undress her with your eyes, she'll know exactly what you are doing and she will love it! Talk about butterflies in her stomach...it will make her mind spin. Give her one of those really intense stares that tells her you are thinking about her naked and thinking about what all you want to do to her. Trust me, she will be able to sense it. Aside from the looks, she likes to know what you are thinking. So, whisper in her ear what you'd like to do to her when you have her alone...but do it when she can't do anything about it but squirm. For example, whisper in her ear, "I can't wait to get you naked and flat on your back" when you are at the movies waiting for it to start. Or try telling her that you want, more than anything, to feel her naked skin pressed against yours when you are eating dinner in public. She will probably flush and give you a dirty grin that tells you she'd like the same thing.
The key to seduction is to draw it out and make it last. Start early in the evening or day. The longer your partner has to think and visualize, the better it will be. They will be chomping at the bit to get you into bed!

Kisses xxx

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Being a Good Lover...

Okay...for the sake of women everywhere, I feel the need to express the importance of being a good lover. A good lover encompasses many things. You have the emotional side, which is a lot harder to attain, and the physical side which is the easiest. As far as being a good lover emotionally, there isn't really a lot I can say aside from the obvious...love your partner for who they are, not who you wish they were. It is amazing what can happen when you stop trying to change them and mould them into what you want them to be and just start letting them be who they want to be. The freedom in that is what leads to long term success emotionally. When you love each other unconditionally and let each other just be, a certain freedom comes that can't be taken away. This freedom can create incredible happenings in the bedroom. When you aren't constantly worried about whether or not you are good enough for your partner, you become a whole new person...you become you. You feel free to express yourself, to be more outgoing, and with that comes new revelations and a lot of fun! As far as being a good lover physically, what is most important is remembering to focus on them. In doing that, nothing gets missed. You are the center of someone' attention and so are they. Making sure they receive pleasure is your only goal. Remember guys, it takes women longer to attain that pleasure than it does for you. Knowing your way around her body certainly helps, so if you're a little unsure of her hot spots, check out some of my earlier posts. Girls, same for you...if you are focused on giving him pleasure, then he will automatically want to see to your pleasure in return. I am lucky that my partner is so incredible. Though he may not know it, he leads me to a lot of my revelations.
Anyway, posts are becoming a bit more spaced out because I've been working on compiling data from the first round of surveys. Round two will be going out in the next week or two, so all of you on my list, be ready...for those of you not on my list, but interested in contributing (anonymously, of course) any and/or all of your carnal knowledge of the opposite or same sex, send me a message and let me know so I can get you added to my contact list. For now, remember this...pleasure your partner first and foremost and yours will be guaranteed!

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Role Playing 101

Role-playing...it tends to conjure up different images for all of us, but one thing is for sure...it conjures up a very pleasing image one way or another. If you and your partner have tried it, then you know that the result is definitely worth the effort. Not only is it fun, it really isn't as embarrassing as some of you are thinking. If you have never tried it before, you may have some concerns, such as will he/she think I'm a freak? Or, maybe you will worry about whether or not you will actually be able to go through with it. Well, let me tell you...try it. Just once and you will be convinced. Role-playing is not something to be done everyday. It is one of those thing that you pull out of your hat every now and then to spice things up. I will tell you this right now...go into it with an open mind, confidence, and anticipation of enjoying yourself. These are your three keys to success. You can try finding out what your partner would enjoy ahead of time. Everyone has thought about it at least once. In our sex-driven society, who can't? It may be easier to broach the subject either during or after sex, since you are both already in that frame of mind and quite possible feeling so on top of the world that you would be willing to share anything. Some scenarios to try? Teacher/student, master/slave, cop/robber, doctor/nurse/patient, stranger caught unawares...these are some of the more "standard" ones. There are a world of others if you will only open up your imagination. There are a ton of naughty costumes out there for both guys and girls including military, fairy, fairy tale, angels, devils, racing digs, super heros, story book (Snow White, Little Bo Peep, etc.)...the possibilities are endless. Once you have chosen your scenario and the "big day," make sure you have plenty of uninterrupted time together. Trust me, no matter how shy your partner or you, you or he/she will lose that feeling within about 5 minutes. It is almost impossible to feel that way when your partner is looking at you like they can't wait to devour you. Want to get ballsy? Bring a camera into the picture...be it a still or video, but just make sure you trust who you are doing that with so you don't wind up on "Naughty Amateurs II, Role Playing 101" on the net. Then, just let things go where they may. It is a lot of fun, and a chance for you to focus on nothing but the two of you and your respective pleasures! Have fun and get creative. Check out my poll and let me know your favorite "basic" role-playing fantasy...it's anonymous, I promise!



Kisses xxx

Friday, August 15, 2008

Pornography...Yea or Nay?

Let's face it...pornography has been around for generation upon generation. I looked up the definition of pornography, out of curiosity and got two completely different responses:
http://www.dictionary.com/
–noun
obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit. Interesting observation...probably written by some prudish closet-porn addicted school marm. More accurately, Webster's definition is a bit more pleasurable:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/
-noun
1 : the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2 : material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement
3 : the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction
Pornography really is worth another look, especially these days. Most guys enjoy various forms of pornography, be it mags, videos, or internet porn. Most women feel that if their man is looking at porn, then they are lacking something in the bedroom. Not entirely true. Pornography is meant to elict sexual excitement. Have you ever had those days when it seems nothing can get you in the mood? Try a little fantasy reading or a mild porn video. Trust me, it will work like a charm! Pornography has gotten a bad wrap, too. Many women feel that it is degrading and entirely fake and some of it is. But there are the good ones out there too! Erotica, or pornography videos that are made for women by women, (which is promoted on the back, or just ask the store clerk for some help) are everywhere and much more appealing to women. Get rid of your reservations...next time your honey wants to watch a porn video, tell him you'll join him if he'll let you pick the flick...He'll probably be so surprised and eager that he'll readily agree to it. And if you are still uncomfortable, try easing into it with a soft-core selection such as 9 1/2 Weeks or The Postman Always Rings Twice. Just remember a few things...do try a few. Be it videos or magazines or erotic books, give it a fair shot before you dismiss it. Do have it playing in the background. Look up every once in a while and maybe you'll be inspired by a particular thing you'd like to try. You'd be surprised at how erotic the sights and sounds can really be. Do remember to laugh. Porn isn't meant to watch from start to finish like a traditional movie. And there is a bit of comic relief in all of them. It will make you more comfortable if you can laugh at the truly laughable. Don't take it personally if your partner like to watch or look at porn. It doesn't mean they are not happy with you. It is really no different than role-playing. It is simply a tool to be used to spice things up a bit. Don't rely on it to get you in the mood. Bad habits die hard. Don't push it off onto your partner. If they don't enjoy it, leave it be. At the same time, don't pressure your partner to stop watching or looking at porn just because you don't like it. As long as it isn't excessively violent or child-related, it's their business. Just ask them politely to do it on their own. Respect each other's wishes. Don't feel guilty about being turned on by it. See the above definition. You are not a pervert for being turned on by it. As long as it is appropriate porn. There is a definite line between appropriate and inappropriate. Aside from all of that, enjoy it and give it a chance. You might just be surprised!

Kisses xxx

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Guys (and you ladies as well), Listen Up!

Okay, for all you guys out there, I am going to give you some much needed help when it comes to dealing with your women. To women, sex is not just sex. Especially if you are in either a long term relationship or married. Sex is a lot more than sex. She has sex with her body and her mind. To her, sex is a chance to be extremely close to the one that she loves the most. It gives her a chance to connect to you in a way that is impossible through everyday occurrences. It heightens her level of respect for you, her feelings for you emotionally and physically and helps remind her that even though you both have busy schedules, she is important to you. It helps her validate herself, as a woman, and her relationship with you. To her, sex is emotional. When she has sex with you, she is giving herself, mind-body-soul, to you. She is letting her guard down and making herself vulnerable. She is offering herself to you in the most intimate way possible. This is a part of her that is for you and you only. No one else gets to see her this way. If you reject this part of her, then your relationship will not only go downhill, but will roll downhill at an alarming rate. Let's face it. Like most couples, the two of you probably have sex in a variety of ways, there is lazy sex, crazy-good sex that is just lots of fun, quickies, and sometimes even just "animal" sex where it is nothing but sex. She is quite able to have "just sex," because she sees sex as a bigger picture. She needs you to recognize that for her, sex isn't just sex. She is not asking for sex to become all emotional for you. We, as women, realize that that just isn't going to happen with most of you guys out there. Just like for most of us women out there, sex will never be just sex. What is important to both of you is recognition and acceptance. You both need to recognize and accept what sex is to each other. In doing this, you are able to give each other what you both need. Which, in the long run, can make sex even better. If you don't understand and are just completely lost, ask your partner. If they try and explain it and you are still completely lost, be patient and ask for more detail. Give them a chance to explain and give yourself a chance to understand. Understanding doesn't mean you have to change how you view sex, it just means that you will be able to give your partner what they need the most, which will make you all the more incredible in their eyes and quite possibly make you the person he/she loves and wants to be around the most. And if you can't handle that, then you are in the wrong place with the wrong person. Just remember to open your mind and try. At the very least, you will get an "A" for effort and she will definitely appreciate it even if you are still lost, because you have just made her feel important enough to put effort into. That will score you major brownie points!

Kisses xxx

Friday, August 8, 2008

Naughty or Nice?

Being naughty...what could be more fun?! Let's face it, people...we all like sex. Hell, we love it. You can't deny, at least to yourself, that there is no better feeling in the world than when you are at the peak of orgasm. Physically, it feels great, right? So why are we, as a society in general, so inclined to act like sex is something dirty that should only be experienced in the dark? And talking about it? Totally taboo. Once upon a time, sex was revered as divine. It was worshiped. Let's look at the Kama Sutra. A thousands of years old book totally devoted to sex. While most people see it as a "positions" book with lots of naughty drawings, and would never admit to being fascinated by it, there is a lot more to it than that. All of those spiritual sex guides like Tantra, Tao, and the Kama Sutra, were about pleasure...giving, receiving, and most of all, enjoying it. And there is a lot to be said for what they teach. People who practice spiritual sex have more intense pleasure and tend to enjoy it more. Male followers of Tantric sex have can generally experience multiple orgasms. Not just the stuff of fairy tales. Multiple orgasms for men are completely within reach. As are a lot of other wondrous things. But for a lot of people, women in particular, sex is a head game. If you can learn to overcome the reservations about sex that society has thrust upon us, there is a veritable world of incredible pleasure that awaits you. Of course, you have to know what pleases you before you can enjoy someone else pleasuring you. Because if you don't know what pleases you, then how can you let your partner know what pleases you? You also have to learn how to openly communicate about sex without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about when it comes to sex. If you will remember the following pointers, it may help you let go of some of your reservations:
1. You aren't the only one in the room that wants to receive pleasure. Your partner is in the same boat you are in. And all across America and the world even, there are millions of people doing the same thing you are doing and maybe even at the same time!
2. Sex is completely natural. The whole point of sex isn't just breeding offspring. Having an orgasm releases endorphins that help reduce stress and help you sleep. It's like a natural sleeping pill...with super awesome side effects!
3. Sex burns calories...what better exercise is there? Approximately 300 calories are burned during an hour of sex. And the out come? Awesome endorphin release!! :) I have actually come across a "guide" that tells how many calories are burned for different things during sex, such as positions, almost getting caught, trying to hold back, etc...I mean you could have an amazing workout routine and tailor it to how many calories you want to burn. If people could get over their reservations about sex, our nation might actually fall off of the list of "fattest" countries!
I could go on, but for now I won't. That is a start. That "guide" I was talking about will hopefully make it into the book, but it's a bit much to post. The next few post will be devoted to pleasure. Pleasuring yourself, pleasuring your partner, learning how to enjoy pleasure and everything else pleasure related! It makes me feel naughty just thinking about it!! Learn to love being naughty, there is great freedom in it!

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Coveted Hot Spot

Hey you all!! So this G-Spot fascination...what is it all about? The G-Spot was "discovered" by Ernst Gräfenberg, a German gynecologist, around 1950. (He is also the supporter of female ejaculation!) The G-Spot in women is located on the front of the vaginal wall. With her lying on her back, insert a finger or two, pads of finger(s) facing up, or towards her belly button, and it's about two to three inches up and feels slightly spongy. Try different strokes or massaging techniques to see what makes her feel good. There is a theory that not all women have a g-spot. This is still debated and the only way you are going to find out is by exploration! Sounds like fun, huh? The g-spot orgasm is much deeper and more intense.
Guys, you also have a g-spot! "Say what?!", you may say...it's true! The prostate gland is now recognized by numerous sexperts and doctors as the male g-spot. The easiest way to access it is through anal stimulation, and some guys, just like women, have reservations regarding anal stimulation. Ladies, if your partner is up for it, read on to find out how to stimulate it. Using lots of lube, insert a finger into his anus, with the pad of your finger facing is testicles. About two to three inches up, you should feel a rough patch about the size of a walnut. Try different techniques to see what pleases him. Have him tell you what feels good and take it slow. Unless he is used to it, anal stimulation can take some getting used to...for both parties.
If you are going to explore each other's g-spots, make sure you have plenty of time uninterrupted, plenty of lighting (but not harsh lighting...us girls prefer softer lighting) and plenty of lube. Toys are also fun for g-spot exploration in both men and women. Just make sure to keep the lines of communication open and have a "safe" word or a word that, when spoken by either party, can call a halt to the action in case either party gets uncomfortable or needs to stop for any reason. This is a great thing to have for anytime you are trying something new and different, with someone new or a long-term partner. Either way, it's all about having fun and feeling good, so make sure you have a ball!! (Pun totally intended!)

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Great Orgasm Debate

A long time ago, during darker days, it was debated whether or not women could even orgasm, let alone do it more than once. It was once believed that when a woman spoke, all she was capable of speaking was lies and that the devil or demons caused this. We have come a long way in the ways of female pleasure and it finally was recognized that women were able to receive pleasure as much as men. But where the female orgasm stems from is still debated today. There is a vast majority of sexperts, doctors and the like that swear that all female orgasms stem from clitoral stimulation. But there are women that swear up and down that they have experienced non-clitoral orgasms. There are vaginal orgasms, G-Spot orgasms and goodness knows what else. It is now known that women, not men, have an organ whose only function is to give pleasure. The clitoris has one function and that is it. Men don't have that...aren't we lucky?! So it makes sense that everyone believes that our only way of getting pleasure stems from this organ. But, according to some women, there are other avenues to pleasure out there. Vaginal and g-spot orgasms are much deeper and more intense than clitoral orgasms. I have added a poll to my blog and would love to hear your responses. Don't worry, they stay anonymous! Let me hear from all of you naughty divas out there and maybe we can settle the Great Debate once and for all! More on the great orgasm tomorrow!

Kisses xxx

Friday, August 1, 2008

The Nectar of the Gods

Okay, guys...here it is...a guide to giving her the best cunnilingus she has ever had. And my props to those guys out there that are man enough to recognize that there is nothing wrong with a little advice. Too many guys think that they are already an expert in pleasing their partners. Out of all the sexual self-help types of books out there, over 90% are purchased by women. Statistically speaking, women are the ones who are always wanting to improve, even if they are already excelling at something. Guys generally think that there is no need for improvement if they are already doing it right. Guys, there is always room to add some skills to your repertoire.
Oral sex is something that both sexes report wanting more of. Why the fascination? There is something extremely naughty about the thought of someone licking your genitals. And it is okay to just lie back and enjoy without feeling like you have to return the favor. Just remember to return the favor at some point. If one of you doesn't feel like it, it's okay. Take turns, just don't "keep score."
The most important thing you can remember, guys, is that it takes her longer to reach orgasm than it does for you. The best thing you can do for her is to not rush her. And don't make her feel like you aren't getting any pleasure from it. That will add pressure and make her less likely to come. Let her know you are enjoying yourself. Make a lot of sensual sounds and tell her how much you like it. Start off slow and be sure you ask her how she likes it...fast, slow, soft, hard, etc. Your position is very important here. If she likes positions of power and isn't easily embarrassed, lay down on your back and have her straddle your face on her knees. It gives her the sense of being in power, kind of like a master/slave fantasy. If she is easily intimidated, let her lay on her back with you between her legs. It will give her more confidence and less pressure which equals faster coming. As far as positioning your tongue goes, use the flat of your tongue as opposed to the tip. Use plenty of saliva and if need be, keep a glass of water handy to help you out. You can also find flavored lubes out there at most adult stores in a variety of flavors. Remember, guys, timing is important. Make sure she knows you are enjoying yourself and don't rush her. Keep your strokes steady and ask her how fast she likes it. It's always best to be too gentle than too rough, if she wants it harder, she'll let you know. If she pulls away slightly, ease up on the pressure. If she arches up trying to get closer, use more pressure. Try to be attuned to her body language. If you can't figure it out, ask her. Her body will tense when she nears orgasm. At that point, maintain the rhythm. As she's climaxing, slow down easily and gently. She may push you away afterwards, but that is just because most women are extremely and unbearably sensitive right after an orgasm. Just pay attention to her signals and ask her to let you know what feels good. Let her have your undivided attention with no limit on time and you will both have a rocking good time!

Kisses xxx

Blow Him Away...Literally!

Men love oral sex. Period. I mean what guy wouldn't? All of that warm and wet action on something so packed full of sensitive nerve endings that silk boxers make him hard...what is not to love?! Well, ladies, get ready...I'm going to give you some tips to take him over the top. If you want to give him the best fellatio he's ever had, read on...(I've also posted one on how he can give you fabulous cunnilingus to you...guys, make sure you read up!
Oral sex is something that both sexes report wanting more of. Why the fascination? There is something extremely naughty about the thought of someone licking your genitals. And it is okay to just lie back and enjoy without feeling like you have to return the favor. Just remember to return the favor at some point. If one of you doesn't feel like it, it's okay. Take turns, just don't "keep score."
The first thing you need to do is learn to love it. If you love it, you will be good at it. Most women are hesitant because of the smell, the thought of having to swallow or the gag reflex. All three can be easily fixed and you can still enjoy it. Make him feel like you are loving it by making a lot of sexy, throaty sounds and giving him the classic "bedroom eyes" look. Men are visual creatures, play up to that and he'll be rock hard in no time! Men, while they may joke about it, love foreplay. You shouldn't have your mouth anywhere near him unless he is rock hard. Tease him mercilessly. Give him a seductive massage, trail your hands all over him, and use whatever skills you've got to get him there. Tease, tease, tease! Make sure you add variety. Don't get me wrong, he isn't going to turn down an opportunity for oral sex even if it is the same every time, but he will love it if you spice it up. Start out by trying different positions in the bedroom. When you get a little more comfortable, surprise him in different locations of the house. When he's sitting on the couch watching the game or when he's at his desk on the computer. Trust me, he'll be interested. When you've accomplished that, move onto something that will make his jaw drop. Try it while he's driving, but not in heavy traffic in a major city! Also, keep eye contact with him if you aren't too embarrassed. He'll love it! We generally tend to concentrate on his penis. But don't forget, he has other sensitive parts as well. The perineum, or the area of skin between the testicles and the anus, is packed with nerve endings. Also, a lot of men love to have their testicles massaged or licked as well. Use both of your hands. One can be used to play and stimulate different areas, but the other can be used as an anchor. Hold the base of his penis and you will be the one controlling how deep he goes. This comes in handy especially if you have sensitive gag reflexes. And if his hands travel to the back of your head and start pushing too much, tell him "Hands off or it stops." Deep-throating is more of a head game than anything. Remember, most of his nerve endings are in the head, not the shaft, so deep-throating really does nothing spectacular. If you can deep-throat, fantastic! But you don't have to be able to in order to give him good oral sex. Make sure he can see what is going on. Let him see your tongue licking up and down. Treat it like a popsicle and run your tongue all over in different directions and make sure you don't neglect the head. Run your tongue all over and around the head and every few seconds, take the head into your mouth and suck slightly. The more tongue movement while it's in your mouth, the better. Keep your teeth covered and try not to scrape them against his penis. Decide whether you are going to spit or swallow before hand. And if you don't want to do either one, that's okay too. Just plan it out before you get started. Remember that sex is messy. It's a turn-off for him to see you run from the room like his semen is poison. If you are going to spit it out, have a towel handy and do it discreetly. If you keep his penis aimed at the back of your throat and swallow quickly, it's much easier than trying to take it all in and then swallow. If he tastes bad, it's probably something in his diet. Have him start eating more fruit and drinking water and fruit juices and less beer and sodas. If he balks, tell him why and he may be more inclined to try it. One last thing: remember that communication is the key. Have fun, ladies, and have your guys tune in later for their guide to knocking your socks off!

Kisses xxx

Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Pleasure Factor

Okay, no more school, I promise!! But I had to give the basics. You would be surprised at how little we know about the workings of the opposite sex's sexual organs...I don't care what your best friend says...they know less than they are willing to admit! Us girls need special attention focused on the clitoris. That is where over 90% of our orgasms stem from. Also, while guys tend to like variety in the way of speed and pressure, guys need to provide steady pressure and a steady speed/stroke to their girls' sensitive parts when attempting to get their partner to go over the top. Guys, whether it's oral sex, or a fantastic hand job, you need to be prepared to hang in and be patient. It takes women approximately 15-20 minutes to orgasm. Girls, our guys are a lot easier to please. Make sure you add variety to your licks or strokes and vary the speed and rhythm . Start off slow, then speed up. When it looks like he is getting ready to come, slow it back down. Bring him right to the edge then take him back down. Guys, don't do that to your girls...when we've worked so hard to get there, let us go over the edge! It's too hard for your partner to get back there, trust me. But she can easily get there again, after she has already crested the pleasure peak. Focus on giving each other pleasure. Ask your partner what they like...after all, just because it makes you come, doesn't mean it is going to make them do it too! And don't hesitate to tell your partner what turns you on. It opens up the communication and deepens the intimacy. Your partner wants feedback from you. Trust me and don't be embarrassed, it will turn them on more than anything and it will give them something to fantasize about as well! Tomorrow: More on orgasms with a little oral!

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A Crash Course in Anatomy

Thinking about all the positions I've been talking about the last few days, I realized that not only have I skipped some basics, I've skipped some key information that could be of tremendous value. When it comes to pleasuring your mate, you've really got to know what you are handling and really understand it if you are going to be successful in giving mind-blowing pleasure. Guys spend most of their lives looking at their sexual parts. And not only looking at them, but handling them and playing with them. Guys know what gives them the most pleasure...but I bet their partners feel a bit lost when it comes to knowing, without doubt, what pleases their man. And vice versa. While women don't spend most of their lives looking at their parts, we are more familiar with them than our partners are. Here is a crash course.
The penis is basically split into four parts. The head or glans (which is the mushroom shaped part at the top), the urethra (the tiny slit at the top), the shaft, and the frenulum. He may or may not have a foreskin. The head of the penis contains numerous nerve endings, which makes it extremely sensitive. And if you think that part is sensitive, try playing with the frenulum. What is the frenulum, you ask? (Yeah, that was a new one to me too!) The frenulum is located at the underside of the penis where the head meets the shaft. There is a slight puckering of skin there and it is jam-packed with nerve endings making it the most sensitive part of his penis. Try giving this part a little extra attention, especially during oral sex and watch him squirm!
As for our ladies, our parts are quite out of view, and while we are familiar with them, most of our men are not. The female sex organs are much more complex, but can basically be divided into four parts as well. The mons pubis is the fleshy mound covered with pubic hair. This acts as a cushion during sex. Then there are the labia majora and labia minora, or the outer lips and inner lips respectively. Then you have the clitoris, which is protected by the labia minora. This is the key area to a woman's pleasure. Make sure and give this spot extra attention and watch her melt!
Knowing these parts is important if you are ever going to enjoy your sex life. Starting tomorrow: Orgasms...stay tuned!!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Positions: Time for a Close-Up

Face to face positions are a perfect way to get a little closer. They are very intimate positions and are relatively easy to move into from other positions. Positions with you sitting on his lap, or even lying in bed face-to-face are popular positions with all types of couples. They are extremely versatile and the eye contact is fabulous, which she'll enjoy a lot. They also free up his hands so that he can stimulate her with his hands or with his penis, guided by his hands. For him, it provides great visual stimulation, which he loves! Try rocking as you thrust, using your legs for leverage. As far as comfort level goes, this requires minimal effort on both parts so it takes the pressure off. There are a variety of face-to-face positions, so get creative and try them all!

Kisses xxx

Monday, July 28, 2008

Positions: The Back Door to Pleasure

Back to the positions we were discussing...today: Rear Entry. This position does several things. It allows for deep penetration and brings out our natural animal instinct. It's a bit primitive and some women feel that it's degrading. Couple who really enjoy sex and enjoy experimenting, will really get into this position, while couples who just "have sex" and feel that the missionary position is racy will tend to stay away from it. If your man has a problem with premature ejaculation, this may not be the position for you unless you are both aiming for a quickie. Women who love uninhibited sex love this position. Because you can't see his face, he could be anyone. This is a great position for stimulation of your g-spot (which is located on the front wall of your vagina, in case you don't know) because he's hitting just the right spot. His hands are also free for stimulating your nipples and clitoris for extra pleasure. For him, it's an excellent visual stimulation. He can see himself clearly pumping in and out which he loves! It also allows him to penetrate as deep as he wants. Try a couple of different ways of doing this...lie face down on the bed with him on top and put a pillow under your hips. This is great for indirect clitoral stimulation. Or go all out and let him have his way...get on all fours. You'll both enjoy it a lot!

Kisses xxx

Friday, July 25, 2008

Slight Diversion

Okay...I'm going to divert from positions today. I had a friend who had a mortifying experience the other day and I felt the need to give my view on the subject. Sex and her menstrual cycle. I want to know how you guys and girls feel about it. Most people feel that it's gross and that it is worth waiting until she is done. But for those of you trusting enough, brave enough and not at all modest, sex can be rather interesting during that particular time of the month. First of all, she is likely a bit more on the horny side than usual because her hormones are running wildly unchecked. Also, there is a natural lubrication which makes intercourse easier for some. Just be sure you have plenty of towels handy because it is a rather messy affair, but like everything else, it's nothing that a shower or a load of laundry won't cure. And for those of you not so brave...you can still fool around and both of you will enjoy it because you have to get creative. So don't let the embarrassment stop you...by now, you both should be old enough to realize it's completely natural and be able to enjoy yourselves in spite of everything. When life hands you lemons, make some hard (in more ways than one!) lemonade!!

Kisses xxx

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Positions 101

Okay...girl-on-top. You ladies should love this one. Not does it sound powerful, it really is. This position is considered a power position. You ladies are in control of it all...depth, speed, and angle. A plus if you have a small or sensitive cervix...he can only go as deep as you'll let him. For him, he gets the pleasure of being able to watch everything. It appeals to his natural voyeuristic side, plus there's no pressure...she's doing all the work. For him, he's getting his cake and eating it too! This is a great position for him to hit her g-spot as well...have her lean back slightly for best access. Not to mention, both of his hands are free to play with whatever he can reach! Spice it up a little and try facing towards his toes. But be warned...don't try and do a 180 with him inside of you without telling him. Unless he's rock hard and ready for it, you can actually bend his penis causing him much pain. Other variations? Try having him sit up with his back against the wall or headboard or have him sit on a chair, such as dining room chair with no arms. The end results will be worth it!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

A Plethora of Positions

I completely missed yesterday, didn't I? Wow, it's been one of those weeks. Well everyone, when it comes to positions, there are a ton of them to choose from. Did you know that in the Kama Sutra there are over 600 positions?! Wow! I can only imagine what kind of sabbatical that would turn out to be! But basically there are 5 basic positions that are a fave among the general public. Today we're going to start out with the basic one everyone is familiar with...the missionary position. Now don't turn your noses away at this one. It has it's perks...Physically speaking, it requires less of a workout on both of you. For him, he can control the speed and depth of the thrusts while she gets a rest...but that's not all she gets. By manipulating the position just a little bit, she'll find it easier to indirectly stimulate the clitoris, which is key for her orgasms. Try putting a pillow under her backside to raise her hips just a bit, or if you have a little flexibility, girls, wrap your legs around his back which will allow you to let him know with a squeeze of your thighs if he is going too fast. Another variation? Try letting him put his legs on the outside, which will make you seem tighter...a plus for both of you.

Kisses xxx

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Daily Tip 7/20/08

Today has been tough...I injured my back last night and have had a hard time moving around today. I have realized though, that when life gives you lemons, you really can make lemonade. Sometimes you have to be creative, you have to work with what you've got. Life isn't always predictable. We have to be willing to take short detours, and sometimes longer ones as well. If you're not as flexible as you normally are, for instance, try something different...there are plenty of positions allowing for more flexibility when you can't be. Let your partner do all the work. For example, you can be the one to lay back and receive all the pleasure for once. No one says it has to be even 100% of the time. Try positions that minimize movement and promote stability for the one having trouble moving around. Get creative and do what works. More on positions tomorrow...

Kisses xxx

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Today's Tip 7/19/08

It's all in her head...literally. Guys, us girls use our heads a lot. We think with them, we dream with them, we analyze with them, we even have sex with them. If your girl isn't in the right frame of mind, she isn't going to enjoy herself no matter how good you are. If she has ten million things on her mind, she'll be miles away...even if you can't tell. Make sure she feels completely focused on what you are doing. Some things to try? A sensual massage, candles or maybe some music. The key is to take your time and explore a bit. It's not a race to the finish line...unless you both are aiming for a quickie. That's a whole different bowl of cherries for another time. Stay tuned!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Tip of the Day

Today is my birthday. Another year older...yea! I think. Well, today's tip has to do with just that...getting older. Sex doesn't have to happen less the older we get. Our sex drives don't go away when we turn a certain age. We are sexual beings. It is completely natural to want what feels good at any age. Just remember that it is quality that counts. Whether you're doing it 3 times a day or 3 times a month, as long as you make it count, you don't have to keep count. Notches on the bed post are only in the movies!

Round One is Out...

Well, I am getting ready to send out Round One on my research survey. Hot topics for Round 1 are simple anatomy questions. You know, just some basics to get an idea of the truly "average" person. Not the totally hot babes and studs we see on TV or in mags, but the average everyday hottie. Because, let's face it, there are more of us out there than there are those perfect robots. Not that there is anything wrong with those types, but life is just different for them. And honestly, most of us may think some of those famous people are hot, but studies show that, among men and women alike, we fantasize about our current partner more than some random hottie. Surprising? It shouldn't be. If you think about it, it makes total sense. We are in a relationship with them for a reason. Something about the person we are with gave us butterflies in our stomachs at some point. Even once you get past that phase in your relationship, chances are that when he/she gets close to you, skin to skin, you still feel butterflies...I know I do. When his lips brush the back of my neck or his fingers slide across my bare skin, especially unexpectedly, I get goosebumps. If anyone reading this is interested in participating in my research for the book, let me know. I'm always needing volunteers. Wish me luck on Round 1!
Kisses xxx

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Welcome!

Hi and welcome to my first blog! I am so excited about all of this. I started this blog as a way for friends and associates to track my progress of my new adventure...writing a book. It will be a long road with a lot of bumps, but I am ready for it and devoted to see this through. My book doesn't yet have a title, but the subject is sex. The time has come for us to take back our freedom and enjoy sex! There is nothing to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of...especially if you're having good sex!! And if you're not, well then, hopefully I can help with that! Wish me luck and stay tuned for updates!

Kisses xxx