Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Pleasure Factor

Okay, no more school, I promise!! But I had to give the basics. You would be surprised at how little we know about the workings of the opposite sex's sexual organs...I don't care what your best friend says...they know less than they are willing to admit! Us girls need special attention focused on the clitoris. That is where over 90% of our orgasms stem from. Also, while guys tend to like variety in the way of speed and pressure, guys need to provide steady pressure and a steady speed/stroke to their girls' sensitive parts when attempting to get their partner to go over the top. Guys, whether it's oral sex, or a fantastic hand job, you need to be prepared to hang in and be patient. It takes women approximately 15-20 minutes to orgasm. Girls, our guys are a lot easier to please. Make sure you add variety to your licks or strokes and vary the speed and rhythm . Start off slow, then speed up. When it looks like he is getting ready to come, slow it back down. Bring him right to the edge then take him back down. Guys, don't do that to your girls...when we've worked so hard to get there, let us go over the edge! It's too hard for your partner to get back there, trust me. But she can easily get there again, after she has already crested the pleasure peak. Focus on giving each other pleasure. Ask your partner what they like...after all, just because it makes you come, doesn't mean it is going to make them do it too! And don't hesitate to tell your partner what turns you on. It opens up the communication and deepens the intimacy. Your partner wants feedback from you. Trust me and don't be embarrassed, it will turn them on more than anything and it will give them something to fantasize about as well! Tomorrow: More on orgasms with a little oral!

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A Crash Course in Anatomy

Thinking about all the positions I've been talking about the last few days, I realized that not only have I skipped some basics, I've skipped some key information that could be of tremendous value. When it comes to pleasuring your mate, you've really got to know what you are handling and really understand it if you are going to be successful in giving mind-blowing pleasure. Guys spend most of their lives looking at their sexual parts. And not only looking at them, but handling them and playing with them. Guys know what gives them the most pleasure...but I bet their partners feel a bit lost when it comes to knowing, without doubt, what pleases their man. And vice versa. While women don't spend most of their lives looking at their parts, we are more familiar with them than our partners are. Here is a crash course.
The penis is basically split into four parts. The head or glans (which is the mushroom shaped part at the top), the urethra (the tiny slit at the top), the shaft, and the frenulum. He may or may not have a foreskin. The head of the penis contains numerous nerve endings, which makes it extremely sensitive. And if you think that part is sensitive, try playing with the frenulum. What is the frenulum, you ask? (Yeah, that was a new one to me too!) The frenulum is located at the underside of the penis where the head meets the shaft. There is a slight puckering of skin there and it is jam-packed with nerve endings making it the most sensitive part of his penis. Try giving this part a little extra attention, especially during oral sex and watch him squirm!
As for our ladies, our parts are quite out of view, and while we are familiar with them, most of our men are not. The female sex organs are much more complex, but can basically be divided into four parts as well. The mons pubis is the fleshy mound covered with pubic hair. This acts as a cushion during sex. Then there are the labia majora and labia minora, or the outer lips and inner lips respectively. Then you have the clitoris, which is protected by the labia minora. This is the key area to a woman's pleasure. Make sure and give this spot extra attention and watch her melt!
Knowing these parts is important if you are ever going to enjoy your sex life. Starting tomorrow: Orgasms...stay tuned!!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Positions: Time for a Close-Up

Face to face positions are a perfect way to get a little closer. They are very intimate positions and are relatively easy to move into from other positions. Positions with you sitting on his lap, or even lying in bed face-to-face are popular positions with all types of couples. They are extremely versatile and the eye contact is fabulous, which she'll enjoy a lot. They also free up his hands so that he can stimulate her with his hands or with his penis, guided by his hands. For him, it provides great visual stimulation, which he loves! Try rocking as you thrust, using your legs for leverage. As far as comfort level goes, this requires minimal effort on both parts so it takes the pressure off. There are a variety of face-to-face positions, so get creative and try them all!

Kisses xxx

Monday, July 28, 2008

Positions: The Back Door to Pleasure

Back to the positions we were Rear Entry. This position does several things. It allows for deep penetration and brings out our natural animal instinct. It's a bit primitive and some women feel that it's degrading. Couple who really enjoy sex and enjoy experimenting, will really get into this position, while couples who just "have sex" and feel that the missionary position is racy will tend to stay away from it. If your man has a problem with premature ejaculation, this may not be the position for you unless you are both aiming for a quickie. Women who love uninhibited sex love this position. Because you can't see his face, he could be anyone. This is a great position for stimulation of your g-spot (which is located on the front wall of your vagina, in case you don't know) because he's hitting just the right spot. His hands are also free for stimulating your nipples and clitoris for extra pleasure. For him, it's an excellent visual stimulation. He can see himself clearly pumping in and out which he loves! It also allows him to penetrate as deep as he wants. Try a couple of different ways of doing this...lie face down on the bed with him on top and put a pillow under your hips. This is great for indirect clitoral stimulation. Or go all out and let him have his way...get on all fours. You'll both enjoy it a lot!

Kisses xxx

Friday, July 25, 2008

Slight Diversion

Okay...I'm going to divert from positions today. I had a friend who had a mortifying experience the other day and I felt the need to give my view on the subject. Sex and her menstrual cycle. I want to know how you guys and girls feel about it. Most people feel that it's gross and that it is worth waiting until she is done. But for those of you trusting enough, brave enough and not at all modest, sex can be rather interesting during that particular time of the month. First of all, she is likely a bit more on the horny side than usual because her hormones are running wildly unchecked. Also, there is a natural lubrication which makes intercourse easier for some. Just be sure you have plenty of towels handy because it is a rather messy affair, but like everything else, it's nothing that a shower or a load of laundry won't cure. And for those of you not so can still fool around and both of you will enjoy it because you have to get creative. So don't let the embarrassment stop now, you both should be old enough to realize it's completely natural and be able to enjoy yourselves in spite of everything. When life hands you lemons, make some hard (in more ways than one!) lemonade!!

Kisses xxx

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Positions 101

Okay...girl-on-top. You ladies should love this one. Not does it sound powerful, it really is. This position is considered a power position. You ladies are in control of it all...depth, speed, and angle. A plus if you have a small or sensitive cervix...he can only go as deep as you'll let him. For him, he gets the pleasure of being able to watch everything. It appeals to his natural voyeuristic side, plus there's no pressure...she's doing all the work. For him, he's getting his cake and eating it too! This is a great position for him to hit her g-spot as well...have her lean back slightly for best access. Not to mention, both of his hands are free to play with whatever he can reach! Spice it up a little and try facing towards his toes. But be warned...don't try and do a 180 with him inside of you without telling him. Unless he's rock hard and ready for it, you can actually bend his penis causing him much pain. Other variations? Try having him sit up with his back against the wall or headboard or have him sit on a chair, such as dining room chair with no arms. The end results will be worth it!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

A Plethora of Positions

I completely missed yesterday, didn't I? Wow, it's been one of those weeks. Well everyone, when it comes to positions, there are a ton of them to choose from. Did you know that in the Kama Sutra there are over 600 positions?! Wow! I can only imagine what kind of sabbatical that would turn out to be! But basically there are 5 basic positions that are a fave among the general public. Today we're going to start out with the basic one everyone is familiar with...the missionary position. Now don't turn your noses away at this one. It has it's perks...Physically speaking, it requires less of a workout on both of you. For him, he can control the speed and depth of the thrusts while she gets a rest...but that's not all she gets. By manipulating the position just a little bit, she'll find it easier to indirectly stimulate the clitoris, which is key for her orgasms. Try putting a pillow under her backside to raise her hips just a bit, or if you have a little flexibility, girls, wrap your legs around his back which will allow you to let him know with a squeeze of your thighs if he is going too fast. Another variation? Try letting him put his legs on the outside, which will make you seem tighter...a plus for both of you.

Kisses xxx

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Daily Tip 7/20/08

Today has been tough...I injured my back last night and have had a hard time moving around today. I have realized though, that when life gives you lemons, you really can make lemonade. Sometimes you have to be creative, you have to work with what you've got. Life isn't always predictable. We have to be willing to take short detours, and sometimes longer ones as well. If you're not as flexible as you normally are, for instance, try something different...there are plenty of positions allowing for more flexibility when you can't be. Let your partner do all the work. For example, you can be the one to lay back and receive all the pleasure for once. No one says it has to be even 100% of the time. Try positions that minimize movement and promote stability for the one having trouble moving around. Get creative and do what works. More on positions tomorrow...

Kisses xxx

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Today's Tip 7/19/08

It's all in her head...literally. Guys, us girls use our heads a lot. We think with them, we dream with them, we analyze with them, we even have sex with them. If your girl isn't in the right frame of mind, she isn't going to enjoy herself no matter how good you are. If she has ten million things on her mind, she'll be miles away...even if you can't tell. Make sure she feels completely focused on what you are doing. Some things to try? A sensual massage, candles or maybe some music. The key is to take your time and explore a bit. It's not a race to the finish line...unless you both are aiming for a quickie. That's a whole different bowl of cherries for another time. Stay tuned!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Tip of the Day

Today is my birthday. Another year older...yea! I think. Well, today's tip has to do with just that...getting older. Sex doesn't have to happen less the older we get. Our sex drives don't go away when we turn a certain age. We are sexual beings. It is completely natural to want what feels good at any age. Just remember that it is quality that counts. Whether you're doing it 3 times a day or 3 times a month, as long as you make it count, you don't have to keep count. Notches on the bed post are only in the movies!

Round One is Out...

Well, I am getting ready to send out Round One on my research survey. Hot topics for Round 1 are simple anatomy questions. You know, just some basics to get an idea of the truly "average" person. Not the totally hot babes and studs we see on TV or in mags, but the average everyday hottie. Because, let's face it, there are more of us out there than there are those perfect robots. Not that there is anything wrong with those types, but life is just different for them. And honestly, most of us may think some of those famous people are hot, but studies show that, among men and women alike, we fantasize about our current partner more than some random hottie. Surprising? It shouldn't be. If you think about it, it makes total sense. We are in a relationship with them for a reason. Something about the person we are with gave us butterflies in our stomachs at some point. Even once you get past that phase in your relationship, chances are that when he/she gets close to you, skin to skin, you still feel butterflies...I know I do. When his lips brush the back of my neck or his fingers slide across my bare skin, especially unexpectedly, I get goosebumps. If anyone reading this is interested in participating in my research for the book, let me know. I'm always needing volunteers. Wish me luck on Round 1!
Kisses xxx

Thursday, July 17, 2008


Hi and welcome to my first blog! I am so excited about all of this. I started this blog as a way for friends and associates to track my progress of my new adventure...writing a book. It will be a long road with a lot of bumps, but I am ready for it and devoted to see this through. My book doesn't yet have a title, but the subject is sex. The time has come for us to take back our freedom and enjoy sex! There is nothing to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of...especially if you're having good sex!! And if you're not, well then, hopefully I can help with that! Wish me luck and stay tuned for updates!

Kisses xxx