Saturday, June 27, 2009

Fave Positions for Women

Women love sex. Period. Some women probably love sex more than men. Yes, I am that's not to say that those women don't go through periods where they just aren't in the mood or are too tired...everybody goes through that. But yes, a little admitted to secret: Women love sex. We spend a great deal of time thinking about our next sexual encounter...where it will take place, when and how. And the object of our sordid little fantasies is almost always our partners. And I say 'almost' because those women that don't have partners may be fantasizing about a different mystery man each time, but 98% of women with partners are going to fantasize about their partners each and every time. These little forays into fantasy can sometimes get a little kinky, but usually involve one of the following 5 positions that we ladies enjoy the most. That isn't to say we don't enjoy being contortionists every once in a while, but over all, these positions offer us the greatest pleasure with as little effort from either us or our partners. If there is one thing to be said about women, we are creative and efficient. So read on and discover some positions that will give maximum pleasure with little effort.
1. Doggy Style...This may be a surprising position because most men think that us girls feel degraded in this position, but that isn't always true. It can be degrading if you want it to be (see standard porn version), but that is when most women will cease to enjoy it and get pissed or hurt. We are going for something a bit more pleasurable for both of you. So a few rules in the doggy style act: no hair pulling unless your partner wants you to...and don't make her feel like an object that is beneath you. This position can be accomplished in a couple of ways. The most popular is to have her kneel on all fours with you behind her. This works best on the bed so there is a soft foundation for both of you. You can also bend her over something that is of the right height...chairs work great for this, but you can also have her stand and lean over onto the bed with you standing behind her. Most men enjoy thrusting while standing and a lot of women love watching their men thrusting while standing...there is something 'powerful' about it, so make sure she can catch a view either from twisting slightly or having access to a mirror. (See post Mirror, Mirror on the Wall) Intensify things by either grasping her hips, reaching around to caress her clitoris or talking dirty to her...she'll love it all! That being said, position 5 is a great position for anal play, provided your partner is up for it. Don't assume that she is. If anal play is not something that you participate in regularly, talk about it and take it slow. Before graduating to anal penetration, spend some time just on anal play. Try stimulating that area with your fingers. Another thing to try? Anal beads. They come in various sizes so you can work her up to being able to take in all of your mighty rod. Also, she might be a bit anxious about anal sex because of the potential for disaster. We spend all of our time trying to be pretty and smell good and not be gross so that we can get you into our beds and anal sex can spell disaster if you aren't careful. If you want to try anal play, don't spring it on her...let her know before you get started so she can prepare. And don't knock her if she says, "Not tonight", she probably has good reason. If you want to know why, simply ask her, but don't be surprised if the answer is is a private matter after all. Be open to trying a little anal stimulation and penetration yourself so that you know what it is like for her. That will make her more willing to be open and try it...not to mention it will make you way hotter because you are being sensitive to her needs and that is a turn on like no other!
2. Lap Dance...This position speaks for itself. Women love being on top. They like it even better with their partner sitting up, be it in a chair on the couch or even sitting up in the bed. It does require a bit of oxygen once you get going, but is easier than having her partner lay down because we have something to brace ourselves on. This position is also appealing because we can control the depth and it gives us a sense of being in control. Guys, while it may be tempting for you to sit back and enjoy the ride, you can magnify her pleasure by teasing her nipples with your tongue or massaging her clitoris with your fingers. This will only heighten her pleasure.
3. The Rinse Cycle...I'm sure you can figure this one out. This basically involves your partner seated on a surface level with your waist with you standing in front of her. This position enables you to thrust deeply and offers a great view for both of you. And by placing her vagina directly against your groin, it increases your ability to thrust even deeper, thereby increasing her chance at attaining a G-Spot orgasm. Increase the intensity by spreading her legs even further apart and having her wrap them around you. A warning though-this position can make some men orgasm relatively quickly, so don't hesitate to slow things down some...women love slow deep thrusting. Some places to try this position? The kitchen counter, the washing machine (try it with the washer on!) or even the hood of your car, provided the temp is just right. Be creative and get naughty!
4. Simple Spooning...This is a great position for several reasons. Women love feeling you pressed up against her from behind. It is a comfortable and reassuring feeling...not to mention this position allows either you (preferably) or her to stimulate her clitoris in addition to the great feeling of thrusting from behind. Lay down behind her and pull her top leg over your hip. With her thighs spread apart like this, she will feel extra naughty and will probably arch her back allowing better access for you and an extra dose of naughtiness for her. Take it up a notch by reaching around and caressing her clitoris or encouraging her to do so (again, an extra dose of naughty) and whispering dirty nothings in her ear...a great position for dirty talk because it allows you to whisper which makes it even sexier!
5. The Standard...Also known as the missionary position. Now I know that a lot of you may be thinking 'Boring!' but hold up and read on. The missionary position is a fave for good reason. It has myriad pleasurable opportunities without the acrobatic requirements of a member of Cirque du Soleil. It also allows us to be "safely" dominated without the requirements of restraints...not that you can't involve restraints. There is nothing hotter that having our partner push us down on the bed, spread our legs and hold our wrists above our heads so he can thrust his rod into our shaft! Women love dominance in the bedroom, and this position allows for different levels of dominance making it suitable for all types of women Step it up a notch and add a little dirty talk. Women love that!
Now that you have 5 new positions to work with (or maybe new views on those 5 positions), be creative and get naughty!!
Kisses xxx

Friday, June 26, 2009

Break Out!!

Has your sex life become predictable...routine...stale? Sometimes life gets in the way and we forget about can get pushed to the back burner in place of "more important" things like work, kids, bills, etc. We forget about putting our pleasure higher up on our list of priorities. And more often than not, it is not both partners putting sex on the back burner at the same time. Sometimes, it is not that someone puts sex on the back burner. Sometimes it is just the simple fact that you both know what to expect. Even if you and your partner have the dirtiest, naughtiest sex ever hear of...if it is always the way you have sex, it becomes boring because you know what is coming. What you need is something different...a change. How to start? Admitting that your sex life needs a change is the first step...and not admitting it just to yourself, but to your partner as well. You need to be able to talk to your partner about sex. Find a time that is appropriate...such as just after sex when you are both relaxed and happy. Do not try and talk about sex at time of stress such as as soon as your partner gets home from a long day at work or at a time when you are likely to be interrupted. Once you've brought the topic up for discussion, here are some tips for spicing it up:
1. Bring about spontaneity. This is the key to a great sex life and not something most of us are good at. Spontaneity takes practice and work. The bed is often frequently thought of for sex because it gets used frequently, but you need to think outside the box when it comes to location. Try the couch in the living room or maybe the counter tops in the kitchen (and don't give me the 'unsanitary' excuse...that is what bleach is for!!) or even try a dining room chair and let her lower herself down on top of you. Just make it a different location than your usual. It is kind of like what I said the other day about masturbation...too much of one thing can lead to disastrous end results.
2. Be willing to teach and to learn. Start over. You can cover two fantasies at one time here: sex with a stranger and the teacher/student fantasy. Pretend you've never had sex before. While doing this, you can take it far enough to actually act out the 'sex with a stranger' scenario here. Meet up somewhere for a drink as if you were meeting a blind date. The point is a fresh start gives you a chance to learn each other all over again. But you have to be willing to learn and teach and to do that you need good communication skills.
3. Be adventurous. Add some spice to your sex life with a combination of things. You can try incorporating a variety of sex toys such as vibrators, handcuffs, anal beads, etc. You can also try different costumes or racy lingerie. This would be a tremendous amount of fun especially if you don't usually wear lingerie. Try having on a racy outfit when your partner gets home from work. There are also a variety of naughty games to try. Some can be rather involved or be as simple as using a deck of cards. Try looking up sex games online. There are a ton of them out there! And not last, nor least, but just as important: try talking dirty. You can also text dirty, which can be lots of fun provided your partner is in a location where they can get the texts. This is something to try if you know they are on the road or out shopping...not for when they are in an important meeting where it might disturb them. You can start with something simple such as telling your partner how a certain thing makes you feel or telling them something you would like to try. After some practice, you can progress to naughtier and dirtier talk!
There are lots of ways to spice up your sex life. Just think of what you normally do, then don't do something different. That is all it takes. It sounds easy, but you have to make an effort to do things differently or you can easily slip back into that routine and before you know it, you are right back where you started.
Kisses xxx

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Sorry for the hiatus, guys! Today's topic? Masturbation. I know I've covered this topic before, but I felt it important to revisit the subject. Masturbation is important in so many ways. It helps us to learn pleasure. It helps us to teach our partners how to pleasure us. It fills in on those cold and dark nights when you and your partner are apart. I could go on and on...but it is also important to understand masturbation. Ever hear of too much of a good thing? Masturbation can fall under that category. There is such a thing as too much masturbation. Masturbating too often can hinder the pleasure you receive from your partner. When you masturbate too often, your body starts to accept pleasure in only the way you pleasure it. It becomes used to receiving pleasure in only one way and gets to where it doesn't recognize pleasure from other sources. So, having a problem being pleased by your partner?? Think about your masturbating habits. Try limiting yourself to once a week and increasing the number of sexual encounters with your partner. Give it time...eventually you will train your body to accept pleasure from other sources again. On the flip side, too little masturbation can cause your body to forget how to accept pleasure. Too often, we get into ruts. We don't have time for much of anything pleasurable, let alone self-indulgence. When our body stops receiving pleasure regularly, it forgets what pleasure feels like and an 'off' switch gets flipped. The solution? Start masturbating once a week. Learn what feels good to you and let your partner know. Take your time and be can't teach your body overnight. Remember: too much of one thing can lead to disastrous end results.
Kisses xxx

Monday, February 16, 2009

Back to Business

Hey, everyone...I realize it has been a while since I posted anything, but things have just been crazy! I am still working diligently on the book, but time has been a precious commodity what with the holidays and all. So it is back to business as usual, hopefully.

I got to talking with a friend today about a rather interesting subject matter and it really made me stop and think. I'm sure I've covered sex toys at some point in the past, but probably on just a "basic" level. I'd like to share something with all of you naughty divas out there: Dildos are a LOT of fun. As are a lot of other sex toys out there. We are going to start with dildos, and then go from there. I'll be giving you a lot of fresh ideas to try in the coming days.

When it comes to dildos, they come in all shapes and sizes. Some are phallus shaped, while others are not even close. Some are designed for vaginal penetration, some for anal penetration and some are designed for both at the same time (often referred to as the shocker effect). Dildos and other sexual items are also known to be used not only for masturbation but also for other sexual activities.

Surprisingly, dildos have been around for centuries. Hard to believe? Check out some of these fun facts:

Dildos in one form or another have been present in society throughout history. Artifacts from the Upper Paleolithic which have previously been described as batons were most likely used for sexual purposes.

There have been many references to dildos in the historical and ethnographic literature. Haberlandt, for example, illustrates single and double-ended wooden dildos from late 19th century Zanzibar.

The world's oldest known dildo is a siltstone 20-centimeter phallus from the Upper Palaeolithic period 30,000 years ago that was found in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm Germany.

Findings of the archaeologists show that ancient Egyptians used dildos 2,500 years ago.

Also these sex toys were used by ancient Greeks. A vase with a woman using a dildo depicted on it was found. This vase was made in the fifth century B.C. Another ancient Greek vase of about the 6th century B.C. depicts a scene in which a woman bends over to perform oral sex on a man, while another man is about to thrust a dildo into her anus.

The first dildos were made of stone, tar, wood and other materials that could be shaped as penises and that were firm enough to be used as penetrative sex toys.

Chinese women in the 15th century used dildos made of lacquered wood with textured surfaces. Geishas sound familiar?

With the invention of modern materials there appeared the possibility of making dildos of different shapes, sizes, colors and textures. In 1966 Ted Marche pioneered the manufacturing and distributing of rubber dildos and other sex toys, thus introducing the dildo that most of today's society is familiar with.

Point being, dildos have been around for centuries for a reason...they can be extremely enjoyable. And with modern times comes a little device I like to call a "little slice of heavenly naughtiness"...the vibrator. Seriously people, if you haven't tried a vibrator yet, this is a must do. But only if you are completely capable of attaining an orgasam through self pleasure. If you start to rely on a vibrator to get you there, it can be hard for you to attain orgasm without it.

These days they make vibrators that can fit in your purse, but they also make them large enough to pleasure almost any woman. They come in silicone, glass, metal and myriad other materials. And they are fun for use with your partner, not just for you to use by yourself. You would be surprised at how open (and thrilled) your partner will be to trying something new! It is how you keep the flame hot and burning steadily.

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Food for Thought

Food plays a great role in sex. Not a particular surprise to most people...everyone has heard those sayings that green M&Ms make you horny or oysters enhance men's stamina, but there is more to it than that. According to Men's Health website, there are some foods that are better than others to push our sex drives into overdrive. To pump things up, try one of these smoothies half an hour before crunch time:

Smoothie for Him
The Built-to-Last Power Smoothie

1 cup blueberries
1 cup vanilla yogurt
2 Tbsp flax seeds
1 cup orange juice
1 cup ice

Consider this man’s ultimate erection insurance. The main reason? It’s loaded with two of the most potent circulation enhancers out there: soluble fiber and antioxidants. Soluble fiber helps push excess cholesterol through your digestive system before it can be broken down, absorbed, and deposited along the walls of your arteries. Antioxidants attack free radicals before they have the chance to lower nitric oxide levels. And since nitric oxide helps deliver oxygen to your blood, the higher the level, the better your blood flow

Smoothie for Her
The Lusty Latte

2 shots of espresso (or 6 ounces of strong coffee)
1 cup skim milk
2 Tbsp dark chocolate syrup
1 cup crushed ice

More than just providing a caffeine buzz and a host of antioxidants, java increases blood flow to your genitals, making sensitive nerve endings more easily accessed and stimulated. A Southwestern University study even found that female rats wanted more sex after a shot of caffeine. Add to that a big hit of calcium, another important contributor to effective blood flow, and a swirl of chocolate, and you have a scintillating shake to wake up to. Chocolate contains a host of chemicals to brighten your mood, including anadamine, which targets the same receptors as THC, and phenylethylamine, which produces a cozy, euphoric feeling. It’s no wonder a new Italian study of 163 women shows that those who regularly eat chocolate report enhanced sex drive and sexual satisfaction.

Or opt for a breakfast in bed. The best breakfast to enhance an after-brunch sex session: a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Sandwich. The foolish see an Egg McMuffin; you should see the ingredients for sex. The combo provides extra zinc—a mineral that she needs to stay well lubricated and you need to keep producing semen—and niacin. This B vitamin is essential for the secretion of histamine, the chemical that helps trigger explosive sneezes and orgasms. It also has a perfect balance of fat, since studies have found that too much or too little dietary fat can decrease levels of libido-boosting testosterone.

Not to mention, food can play a great tool to seduce your partner. Remember, both men and women are visual creatures. Play that up. Anything that can draw attention to your mouth or other enticing body parts can be a great turn-on. Some foods to try: strawberries, chocolate (preferably dark), cheese. Any type of finger food works great. Also, bottled drinks or anything in a wine glass, when drunk from with with the proper technique, can be used to entice your partner. Also, try feeding each other. This can turn quite naughty very quickly! Use your imagination and set up a spread for both of you to enjoy.

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


I don't generally post twice in one day, but I felt the need to address some of the comments made regarding my post about mirrors. In response to some of the comments posted on the "Mirror, Mirror" post, just remember that even though you cringe when you see yourself, your partner doesn't...otherwise they wouldn't be there naked with you! As far as women being the ones to be admired...well, I know many women (including myself) that can appreciate the beauty that lies in a naked woman, but from a woman's perspective, the naked male form is just as appealing to the eye. Men are so different from us...there is something intriguing and mysterious about the male body. It does to us what a naked woman does to you. As far as being comfortable in front of a mirror...just remember that confidence is the best beauty enhancer. When you know you're hot, you will become hot and your partner will make sure you feel that way because being confident only makes him/her hotter for you! Another reminder for the ladies: You are the only naked woman in the room, thereby making you the most beautiful naked woman your partner can lay eyes on and he is there for a reason. He sees something in you that makes you stand out from the crowd. You've got it, flaunt it!

Slow Motion

We've all had those times when all we want is fast, hard sex. Sometimes those urges for quickies tend to overshadow the other options we have. Stress from work, life and other outside factors like smoking, drinking and bad eating habits can interfere and make sex a bit of a chore. That doesn't necessarily mean we don't want sex, we just want instant gratification so we can move on with life. Bu faster isn't always better for you or your partner. Constantly thrusting faster will only wear you and your partner out faster. Instead of a few kisses and a bit of fondling before moving straight to the fastest thrust you can manage, try taking the time to really turn your partner on. Maybe start with a relaxing massage...naked, of course! Massage oils are always a nice touch, but not always necessary. You astride your partner naked will not only help them to relax more, it is also one hell of a turn on to feel your partner astride you naked. No matter which one of you is doing the straddling! Cheesy as it may sound, try lighting a candle or two...the soft lighting will add to the allure and sensuality of the situation. Or you might want to try reading a bit from an erotic book. I have found "Letters to Penthouse" full of exciting stories, some vividly detailed. Don't have a book handy? Talk to your partner about some of the new things you'd like to try...or maybe even those things you would only dream of trying. It is unbelievable how turned on both of you will get just picturing it happening. When you finally get around to penetration, guys, try varying the thrusts. Start out slowly and gradually build to a faster pace. When you feel yourself nearing climax, pull back and slow it down for a few thrusts and then build up again. You will not only reach orgasm, but your partner, who needs a longer time to get to her climaxing point, will join you for even more intense tremors of pleasure than if you just thrust as fast as you can until it's done. The object of sex is pleasure. Why miss out on more intense pleasure when you can intensify not only yours, but your partner's pleasure too? You will have her (and yourself!) coming back for more...pun completely and naughtily intended! Next up: thrusting techniques that she is sure to love!

Kisses xxx