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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Reflections

I don't generally post twice in one day, but I felt the need to address some of the comments made regarding my post about mirrors. In response to some of the comments posted on the "Mirror, Mirror" post, just remember that even though you cringe when you see yourself, your partner doesn't...otherwise they wouldn't be there naked with you! As far as women being the ones to be admired...well, I know many women (including myself) that can appreciate the beauty that lies in a naked woman, but from a woman's perspective, the naked male form is just as appealing to the eye. Men are so different from us...there is something intriguing and mysterious about the male body. It does to us what a naked woman does to you. As far as being comfortable in front of a mirror...just remember that confidence is the best beauty enhancer. When you know you're hot, you will become hot and your partner will make sure you feel that way because being confident only makes him/her hotter for you! Another reminder for the ladies: You are the only naked woman in the room, thereby making you the most beautiful naked woman your partner can lay eyes on and he is there for a reason. He sees something in you that makes you stand out from the crowd. You've got it, flaunt it!

Slow Motion

We've all had those times when all we want is fast, hard sex. Sometimes those urges for quickies tend to overshadow the other options we have. Stress from work, life and other outside factors like smoking, drinking and bad eating habits can interfere and make sex a bit of a chore. That doesn't necessarily mean we don't want sex, we just want instant gratification so we can move on with life. Bu faster isn't always better for you or your partner. Constantly thrusting faster will only wear you and your partner out faster. Instead of a few kisses and a bit of fondling before moving straight to the fastest thrust you can manage, try taking the time to really turn your partner on. Maybe start with a relaxing massage...naked, of course! Massage oils are always a nice touch, but not always necessary. You astride your partner naked will not only help them to relax more, it is also one hell of a turn on to feel your partner astride you naked. No matter which one of you is doing the straddling! Cheesy as it may sound, try lighting a candle or two...the soft lighting will add to the allure and sensuality of the situation. Or you might want to try reading a bit from an erotic book. I have found "Letters to Penthouse" full of exciting stories, some vividly detailed. Don't have a book handy? Talk to your partner about some of the new things you'd like to try...or maybe even those things you would only dream of trying. It is unbelievable how turned on both of you will get just picturing it happening. When you finally get around to penetration, guys, try varying the thrusts. Start out slowly and gradually build to a faster pace. When you feel yourself nearing climax, pull back and slow it down for a few thrusts and then build up again. You will not only reach orgasm, but your partner, who needs a longer time to get to her climaxing point, will join you for even more intense tremors of pleasure than if you just thrust as fast as you can until it's done. The object of sex is pleasure. Why miss out on more intense pleasure when you can intensify not only yours, but your partner's pleasure too? You will have her (and yourself!) coming back for more...pun completely and naughtily intended! Next up: thrusting techniques that she is sure to love!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Self Preservation

Masturbation...everyone (almost) does it, but not many, aside from guys, will admit to it. And even guys have a hard time fessing up to their partners. And why is that? Usually, they are expecting indignation on the parts of their partners. And you would be surprised how many women actually don't have a problem with their partners masturbating. But, due to the bad rap that masturbation has gotten over the years, it is generally a subject that is not up for discussion. Let's face it...men do it...women do it...and all enjoy it. Who knows, better than you do, how to pleasure you? But, once you've gotten past the embarrassment factor, is it an experience that you have have ever considered sharing with your partner? After all, you share almost everything else, right? But how to bring it up...well, that isn't all that difficult. I'd have to say the best time to bring it up is either during sex (this can be part of your "dirty talk"...it will really get your partner's mind wandering), before sex (if maybe the two of you are contemplating something different...it can really get things heated up) or after sex (when you are both sated ad full of pleasure, your mind will be open to anything!). I know it's a little hard to get turned on by the "technical" terminology, "masturbation," so use different terms instead. Try telling your partner about your last masturbation session...let them know that you couldn't get them off of your mind and you got so hot thinking about them that you had to relieve a little sexual frustration. Believe me, while thinking about watching your partner touch themselves most intimately is a turn on, it is nothing compared to actually watching it in person!!

Kisses xxx

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Most women, when naked and faced with a mirror, tend to cringe and shy away. All they see are their imperfections. Generally, men are the complete opposite. Men love looking at themselves naked and if they are in the throes of passion, well, that is even better. Having sex in front of mirrors has been around since before Jesus walked the earth. Centuries of men have had great mirrors installed so that they can indulge in the act of voyeurism. There was once a Roman emperor who had huge concave mirrors installed so that everything looked bigger...no I am not joking! But seriously, mirrors are a fantastic addition to any bedroom. Not only does it give you a grand view, but it also answers the age old question, "What do I look like while I'm having sex?" (I know you have all asked that question at some point, though maybe only in your mind.) And the answer may not be as bad as you would think. As I said, men love mirrors and women, while not as likely to admit to it, do too. There is something a tad naughty about admitting to enjoying looking at ourselves during sex. And having mirrors in your bedroom isn't as tacky as some of you might be thinking. It really opens things up and makes a room feel roomier. As for the naughty factor, well that depends on how many you put up and where. Most people assume the ceiling, but these days, what with ceiling fans and all, that isn't always practical. Not to mention, the person on top kind of gets cheated out of the fantastic view. Try hanging a good sized mirror above the headboard or on the wall opposite the bed, at just the right level. Or better yet, both! Given the right lighting (as cliche as it sounds, try a candle or two...it lights and shadows all the right places!) and ambiance (insert loads of great foreplay here), you should both enjoy the view! Another trick to try? If you've been wanting to make your own "dirty little sex tape", or even if you already have your own private library, try facing the camera towards the mirror instead of filming yourselves directly. It should actually improve the view and angle (especially if you are a bit self-conscious) and, let's face it, the fact that you've videoed yourselves watching yourselves only serves to make it all the naughtier!

Kisses xxx

Monday, October 6, 2008

Anonymously Yours

I was thinking over the weekend and realized that some people may be hesitant to comment or voice their opinion due to the rather racy nature of my blog/site and I completely understand. My whole belief isn't that you should discuss your love of being naughty with your kids, parents or neighbors, but that you should be open about it in the bedroom. Because with that comes a great freedom to fully enjoy yourself, your parnter and your sex life which can make a huge difference in your life in general. So for those of you who would rather voice your opinions and comments anonymously, you can e-mail me at thenaughtydiva@gmail .com and I will gladly honor your desire to be discreet and if you want, even post your comments anonymously. I also get a lot of questions as well, so feel free.

Kisses xxx

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hedonism at its Best

Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is of ultimate importance, the most important pursuit. So how many of you could stand adding a little of that into your lives?! All of us, I think. So I have discovered a resort that plays to that philosophy to the hilt. In Jamaica, at Hedonism Resorts, anything goes. They are an all-inclusive, fantabulous resort, where anything goes. And I mean anything. From swim-up rooms to mirrors on the ceilings to the see thru slide that winds through the disco, pleasure is the ultimate priority at Hedonism. You can do anything, be anybody and no one passes judgement. Why? Because every person there is in the same position as you. No, this is not some sort of swingers resort, although, I am sure there are some guests who participate in swinging quite regularly. You participation only goes as far as you want it to. They are well known for honeymoons and weddings as well as wild times. Looking for a new twist on your next vacation? Check it out...you'll love every minute of it! Can't quite afford the luxury and/or time required for a super inclusive vacation? You can have the same thing right in your own backyard. At home or a local hotel, you can turn your environment into a hedonistic den of iniquity! If spending an evening at a local hotel, splurge for a jacuzzi room. Pick up some candles (and something to light them with!), easy finger foods like grapes, cheese, sweets and a bottle or two of wine or other spirit and pack nothing but maybe a sexy piece of lingerie or naughty outfit . All that is required for a hedonistic weekend to be successful is you and your partner's willingness to focus on nothing but pleasure for both of you. This is the time to try something new that you've been thinking about and time for you to focus only on each other. Go back an read the "Art of Seduction" post and take advantage of it. Surprise your partner when they get home with a drink and a tray of finger foods. Have the location set up with candles and soft music and truly relish in the pleasure each of you finds with the other. Have a great weekend, I know I will!

Kisses xxx

Friday, October 3, 2008

A New Twist II

Alright guys...it's your turn to please your lady! If you've been following along, you have probably realized that it takes a lot more for women to get over the edge than it does for you. Women require patience on her partner's part. You have got to be dedicated to seeing it through, because eventually she'll get there and if you help her get there, she'll come back for more!
In your teenage years, you probably made a beeline for her panties because that was her limit. And with all that practice, your hand probably became magic. To both you and her. Let's face it, your goal was to make her so hot that she'd lose her inhibitions and the panties would disappear. Back then her clitoris was probably your focus and her hot spot. In a way, that remains true still. A clitoral orgasm occurs more often than other types. Yes, there are other types. According to Taoists, the female body has 3 gates of pleasure...yes 3. Want to hit them all? Read on...

Gate 1: The Clitoris
This is a gate you have probably passed through plenty before, be it with your current partner or previous partners. If not, it's time to get some practice. You are probably used to lying beside her during this activity. And sometimes, it works fine. For a new twist on the old, try sitting up with her lying between your legs, her back against your chest and reach around for stimulation. You can also try bending her over a chair or the bed, but I find that for most women, standing requires too much focus and the last thing you want is her being distracted. If she's not wet, don't worry. It doesn't mean she isn't enjoying it. Women don't become instantly wet the moment their interest is peaked. Well, okay, sometimes they do, but not always. This is where a good lubricant will come in handy. Start with a basic stroke, running you finger along the inner lips, slightly and gently brushing the clitoris. Now, come around to face her and let her lie back. Shape your fingers into a "V" around her clitoris and start a rocking motion by pressing down with a little pressure and then pulling back. Your arm should be moving back and up. Alternate the strokes and as she reaches climax, get her to bear down to heighten the sensation.

Gate 2: The G-Spot
This type of orgasm can be out of this world. It may be something she is hesitant to try due to the fact that she may actually ejaculate. Yes, female ejaculation is real. It is up to you to make her comfortable with it. Not only will you receive the "Best Lover Ever" label, it will probably serve to make you extremely hot! Now, before you get started, you may have to participate in a bit of "emotional foreplay". Because if she is thinking too much, it ain't gonna happen. Make her feel loved, hot and sexually adored before you get started. She has to be able to completely lose control for this to happen. And trust me (and tell her to trust you!) it will be worth it! Her g-spot is going to be located on the front wall of her vagina. Even those who debate the existence of such a spot agree that front wall stimulation is the best way for a female to ejaculate. This means that, with her on her back, you fingers should go in palm side up and curl up and around. The elusive g-spot tends to be rather high up, so it's okay to enlist the aide of a g-spot vibrator. Having her sit between your legs (as above in Gate 1 only facing you) might be helpful. Inserting your finger(s) or the vibrator, make as if you are beckoning someone. The area will feel slightly spongy with ridges and will raise the more it is stimulated. Now, don't forget, clitoral stimulation is not off limits. Use your other fingers to stimulate it. Massage her g-spot continuously and don't give up. It takes us women a little longer to get there. Alternate the massaging technique with the "come hither" motion. Whatever you do, keep going. As the pressure builds, try getting her to relax as opposed to her tensing them, which will be her natural inclination. Assure her that it will be worth it and that no matter what, she is the hottest girl you have ever laid eyes on. Tell her all through and don't be afraid to talk dirty...chances are she'll love it!

Gate 3 will come later on, probably in the book. I can't give away all the secrets, can I? Now guys (and/or ladies), go enjoy your partners and make 'em hot!

Kisses xxx

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A New Twist

They say that a woman can't give a guy a better hand job than he can give himself...which is probably true. After all, he has been intimately acquainted with his hand a lot longer than you have, but I am a firm believer that you can come so close that he will prefer your hand over his own. Spiritual sex (i.e. Tantra, Kama Sutra and Taoism) puts a great emphasis on foreplay. To them, foreplay is not a means to an end as it has become in today's society. Each act of foreplay is a singular act of pleasure. The hand job tends to be the first and most basic form of foreplay. These days, it is thought of as a last resort once you've introduced oral sex and intercourse into the relationship; a place you go when nothing else seems to work. Over the next few posts, I will be reintroducing both men and women to the illustriously fabulous hand job...both for him and for her, so be watching!

Today: A Guide for Her to Him
Let's face it. You say, "A hand job...that's a joke, right?" Absolutely not. Spiritual sex devotees would probably roll in their graves at the sight of a wasted sexual act that can function as more than just the appetizer. You are both losing out if the only time you wrap your hands around his "manhood". His penis is extremely fascinating and what better way to explore it than with your hands and your eyes? And what better way to make it more pleasurable for both of you than to add some new techniques into the mix? All techniques, even the tried and true ones, work better with lube. If you don't own any, get some. It is worth having around and can come in extremely handy when you want to be spontaneous. No matter what you try, just remember that if he uncircumcised, be gentle. He will be more sensitive than a man who has been circumcised.

Technique 1: The Faux Vagina
Lace your fingers together, interlocking your thumbs and leaving a small opening in the middle, sort of like a fake vagina (hence the name!). With his penis fitting nicely into the opening, move your hands up and down while keeping a firm (not hard) grip.

Technique 2: Erotic Massage
Pretend you are an erotic masseuse. With his penis laying flat against his belly, massage up and down the middle of the shaft with your thumbs, as a masseuse would massage a the spine with their thumbs.

Technique 3: The Fire Starter
Remember the fire starting technique of rolling a stick between your hands? The same technique applies here. Start at the base of his penis with one hand on either side, and using your hands, slowly roll and rub your way up, then work your way back down again. Start of slowly, increasing your grip and speed as he nears climax.

Just remember to use plenty of lubrication. Things tend to move easier with it and let's face it, friction isn't always a good thing. Anyone remember the "jean burn" created when you were younger and tended to grope outside the clothing before getting more uninhibited? Sort of like carpet burn, only on the penis and created by the rubbing of clothes instead of carpet. Ouch! Next installment...A Guide to Her for Him. Stay tuned!

Kisses xxx