Friday, June 26, 2009

Break Out!!

Has your sex life become predictable...routine...stale? Sometimes life gets in the way and we forget about can get pushed to the back burner in place of "more important" things like work, kids, bills, etc. We forget about putting our pleasure higher up on our list of priorities. And more often than not, it is not both partners putting sex on the back burner at the same time. Sometimes, it is not that someone puts sex on the back burner. Sometimes it is just the simple fact that you both know what to expect. Even if you and your partner have the dirtiest, naughtiest sex ever hear of...if it is always the way you have sex, it becomes boring because you know what is coming. What you need is something different...a change. How to start? Admitting that your sex life needs a change is the first step...and not admitting it just to yourself, but to your partner as well. You need to be able to talk to your partner about sex. Find a time that is appropriate...such as just after sex when you are both relaxed and happy. Do not try and talk about sex at time of stress such as as soon as your partner gets home from a long day at work or at a time when you are likely to be interrupted. Once you've brought the topic up for discussion, here are some tips for spicing it up:
1. Bring about spontaneity. This is the key to a great sex life and not something most of us are good at. Spontaneity takes practice and work. The bed is often frequently thought of for sex because it gets used frequently, but you need to think outside the box when it comes to location. Try the couch in the living room or maybe the counter tops in the kitchen (and don't give me the 'unsanitary' excuse...that is what bleach is for!!) or even try a dining room chair and let her lower herself down on top of you. Just make it a different location than your usual. It is kind of like what I said the other day about masturbation...too much of one thing can lead to disastrous end results.
2. Be willing to teach and to learn. Start over. You can cover two fantasies at one time here: sex with a stranger and the teacher/student fantasy. Pretend you've never had sex before. While doing this, you can take it far enough to actually act out the 'sex with a stranger' scenario here. Meet up somewhere for a drink as if you were meeting a blind date. The point is a fresh start gives you a chance to learn each other all over again. But you have to be willing to learn and teach and to do that you need good communication skills.
3. Be adventurous. Add some spice to your sex life with a combination of things. You can try incorporating a variety of sex toys such as vibrators, handcuffs, anal beads, etc. You can also try different costumes or racy lingerie. This would be a tremendous amount of fun especially if you don't usually wear lingerie. Try having on a racy outfit when your partner gets home from work. There are also a variety of naughty games to try. Some can be rather involved or be as simple as using a deck of cards. Try looking up sex games online. There are a ton of them out there! And not last, nor least, but just as important: try talking dirty. You can also text dirty, which can be lots of fun provided your partner is in a location where they can get the texts. This is something to try if you know they are on the road or out shopping...not for when they are in an important meeting where it might disturb them. You can start with something simple such as telling your partner how a certain thing makes you feel or telling them something you would like to try. After some practice, you can progress to naughtier and dirtier talk!
There are lots of ways to spice up your sex life. Just think of what you normally do, then don't do something different. That is all it takes. It sounds easy, but you have to make an effort to do things differently or you can easily slip back into that routine and before you know it, you are right back where you started.
Kisses xxx