Fave Positions for Women

Women love sex. Period. Some women probably love sex more than men. Yes, I am serious...now that's not to say that those women don't go through periods where they just aren't in the mood or are too tired...everybody goes through that. But yes, a little admitted to secret: Women love sex. We spend a great deal of time thinking about our next sexual encounter...where it will take place, when and how. And the object of our sordid little fantasies is almost always our partners. And I say 'almost' because those women that don't have partners may be fantasizing about a different mystery man each time, but 98% of women with partners are going to fantasize about their partners each and every time. These little forays into fantasy can sometimes get a little kinky, but usually involve one of the following 5 positions that we ladies enjoy the most. That isn't to say we don't enjoy being contortionists every once in a while, but over all, these positions offer us the greatest pleasure with as little effort from either us or our partners. If there is one thing to be said about women, we are creative and efficient. So read on and discover some positions that will give maximum pleasure with little effort.
1. Doggy Style...This may be a surprising position because most men think that us girls feel degraded in this position, but that isn't always true. It can be degrading if you want it to be (see standard porn version), but that is when most women will cease to enjoy it and get pissed or hurt. We are going for something a bit more pleasurable for both of you. So a few rules in the doggy style act: no hair pulling unless your partner wants you to...and don't make her feel like an object that is beneath you. This position can be accomplished in a couple of ways. The most popular is to have her kneel on all fours with you behind her. This works best on the bed so there is a soft foundation for both of you. You can also bend her over something that is of the right height...chairs work great for this, but you can also have her stand and lean over onto the bed with you standing behind her. Most men enjoy thrusting while standing and a lot of women love watching their men thrusting while standing...there is something 'powerful' about it, so make sure she can catch a view either from twisting slightly or having access to a mirror. (See post Mirror, Mirror on the Wall) Intensify things by either grasping her hips, reaching around to caress her clitoris or talking dirty to her...she'll love it all! That being said, position 5 is a great position for anal play, provided your partner is up for it. Don't assume that she is. If anal play is not something that you participate in regularly, talk about it and take it slow. Before graduating to anal penetration, spend some time just on anal play. Try stimulating that area with your fingers. Another thing to try? Anal beads. They come in various sizes so you can work her up to being able to take in all of your mighty rod. Also, she might be a bit anxious about anal sex because of the potential for disaster. We spend all of our time trying to be pretty and smell good and not be gross so that we can get you into our beds and anal sex can spell disaster if you aren't careful. If you want to try anal play, don't spring it on her...let her know before you get started so she can prepare. And don't knock her if she says, "Not tonight", she probably has good reason. If you want to know why, simply ask her, but don't be surprised if the answer is vague...it is a private matter after all. Be open to trying a little anal stimulation and penetration yourself so that you know what it is like for her. That will make her more willing to be open and try it...not to mention it will make you way hotter because you are being sensitive to her needs and that is a turn on like no other!
2. Lap Dance...This position speaks for itself. Women love being on top. They like it even better with their partner sitting up, be it in a chair on the couch or even sitting up in the bed. It does require a bit of oxygen once you get going, but is easier than having her partner lay down because we have something to brace ourselves on. This position is also appealing because we can control the depth and it gives us a sense of being in control. Guys, while it may be tempting for you to sit back and enjoy the ride, you can magnify her pleasure by teasing her nipples with your tongue or massaging her clitoris with your fingers. This will only heighten her pleasure.
3. The Rinse Cycle...I'm sure you can figure this one out. This basically involves your partner seated on a surface level with your waist with you standing in front of her. This position enables you to thrust deeply and offers a great view for both of you. And by placing her vagina directly against your groin, it increases your ability to thrust even deeper, thereby increasing her chance at attaining a G-Spot orgasm. Increase the intensity by spreading her legs even further apart and having her wrap them around you. A warning though-this position can make some men orgasm relatively quickly, so don't hesitate to slow things down some...women love slow deep thrusting. Some places to try this position? The kitchen counter, the washing machine (try it with the washer on!) or even the hood of your car, provided the temp is just right. Be creative and get naughty!
4. Simple Spooning...This is a great position for several reasons. Women love feeling you pressed up against her from behind. It is a comfortable and reassuring feeling...not to mention this position allows either you (preferably) or her to stimulate her clitoris in addition to the great feeling of thrusting from behind. Lay down behind her and pull her top leg over your hip. With her thighs spread apart like this, she will feel extra naughty and will probably arch her back allowing better access for you and an extra dose of naughtiness for her. Take it up a notch by reaching around and caressing her clitoris or encouraging her to do so (again, an extra dose of naughty) and whispering dirty nothings in her ear...a great position for dirty talk because it allows you to whisper which makes it even sexier!
5. The Standard...Also known as the missionary position. Now I know that a lot of you may be thinking 'Boring!' but hold up and read on. The missionary position is a fave for good reason. It has myriad pleasurable opportunities without the acrobatic requirements of a member of Cirque du Soleil. It also allows us to be "safely" dominated without the requirements of restraints...not that you can't involve restraints. There is nothing hotter that having our partner push us down on the bed, spread our legs and hold our wrists above our heads so he can thrust his rod into our shaft! Women love dominance in the bedroom, and this position allows for different levels of dominance making it suitable for all types of women Step it up a notch and add a little dirty talk. Women love that!
Now that you have 5 new positions to work with (or maybe new views on those 5 positions), be creative and get naughty!!
Kisses xxx

Break Out!!

Has your sex life become predictable...routine...stale? Sometimes life gets in the way and we forget about sex...it can get pushed to the back burner in place of "more important" things like work, kids, bills, etc. We forget about putting our pleasure higher up on our list of priorities. And more often than not, it is not both partners putting sex on the back burner at the same time. Sometimes, it is not that someone puts sex on the back burner. Sometimes it is just the simple fact that you both know what to expect. Even if you and your partner have the dirtiest, naughtiest sex ever hear of...if it is always the way you have sex, it becomes boring because you know what is coming. What you need is something different...a change. How to start? Admitting that your sex life needs a change is the first step...and not admitting it just to yourself, but to your partner as well. You need to be able to talk to your partner about sex. Find a time that is appropriate...such as just after sex when you are both relaxed and happy. Do not try and talk about sex at time of stress such as as soon as your partner gets home from a long day at work or at a time when you are likely to be interrupted. Once you've brought the topic up for discussion, here are some tips for spicing it up:
1. Bring about spontaneity. This is the key to a great sex life and not something most of us are good at. Spontaneity takes practice and work. The bed is often frequently thought of for sex because it gets used frequently, but you need to think outside the box when it comes to location. Try the couch in the living room or maybe the counter tops in the kitchen (and don't give me the 'unsanitary' excuse...that is what bleach is for!!) or even try a dining room chair and let her lower herself down on top of you. Just make it a different location than your usual. It is kind of like what I said the other day about masturbation...too much of one thing can lead to disastrous end results.
2. Be willing to teach and to learn. Start over. You can cover two fantasies at one time here: sex with a stranger and the teacher/student fantasy. Pretend you've never had sex before. While doing this, you can take it far enough to actually act out the 'sex with a stranger' scenario here. Meet up somewhere for a drink as if you were meeting a blind date. The point is a fresh start gives you a chance to learn each other all over again. But you have to be willing to learn and teach and to do that you need good communication skills.
3. Be adventurous. Add some spice to your sex life with a combination of things. You can try incorporating a variety of sex toys such as vibrators, handcuffs, anal beads, etc. You can also try different costumes or racy lingerie. This would be a tremendous amount of fun especially if you don't usually wear lingerie. Try having on a racy outfit when your partner gets home from work. There are also a variety of naughty games to try. Some can be rather involved or be as simple as using a deck of cards. Try looking up sex games online. There are a ton of them out there! And not last, nor least, but just as important: try talking dirty. You can also text dirty, which can be lots of fun provided your partner is in a location where they can get the texts. This is something to try if you know they are on the road or out shopping...not for when they are in an important meeting where it might disturb them. You can start with something simple such as telling your partner how a certain thing makes you feel or telling them something you would like to try. After some practice, you can progress to naughtier and dirtier talk!
There are lots of ways to spice up your sex life. Just think of what you normally do, then don't do it...do something different. That is all it takes. It sounds easy, but you have to make an effort to do things differently or you can easily slip back into that routine and before you know it, you are right back where you started.
Kisses xxx

Masturbation

Sorry for the hiatus, guys! Today's topic? Masturbation. I know I've covered this topic before, but I felt it important to revisit the subject. Masturbation is important in so many ways. It helps us to learn pleasure. It helps us to teach our partners how to pleasure us. It fills in on those cold and dark nights when you and your partner are apart. I could go on and on...but it is also important to understand masturbation. Ever hear of too much of a good thing? Masturbation can fall under that category. There is such a thing as too much masturbation. Masturbating too often can hinder the pleasure you receive from your partner. When you masturbate too often, your body starts to accept pleasure in only the way you pleasure it. It becomes used to receiving pleasure in only one way and gets to where it doesn't recognize pleasure from other sources. So, having a problem being pleased by your partner?? Think about your masturbating habits. Try limiting yourself to once a week and increasing the number of sexual encounters with your partner. Give it time...eventually you will train your body to accept pleasure from other sources again. On the flip side, too little masturbation can cause your body to forget how to accept pleasure. Too often, we get into ruts. We don't have time for much of anything pleasurable, let alone self-indulgence. When our body stops receiving pleasure regularly, it forgets what pleasure feels like and an 'off' switch gets flipped. The solution? Start masturbating once a week. Learn what feels good to you and let your partner know. Take your time and be patient...you can't teach your body overnight. Remember: too much of one thing can lead to disastrous end results.
Kisses xxx

Back to Business

Hey, everyone...I realize it has been a while since I posted anything, but things have just been crazy! I am still working diligently on the book, but time has been a precious commodity what with the holidays and all. So it is back to business as usual, hopefully.

I got to talking with a friend today about a rather interesting subject matter and it really made me stop and think. I'm sure I've covered sex toys at some point in the past, but probably on just a "basic" level. I'd like to share something with all of you naughty divas out there: Dildos are a LOT of fun. As are a lot of other sex toys out there. We are going to start with dildos, and then go from there. I'll be giving you a lot of fresh ideas to try in the coming days.

When it comes to dildos, they come in all shapes and sizes. Some are phallus shaped, while others are not even close. Some are designed for vaginal penetration, some for anal penetration and some are designed for both at the same time (often referred to as the shocker effect). Dildos and other sexual items are also known to be used not only for masturbation but also for other sexual activities.



Surprisingly, dildos have been around for centuries. Hard to believe? Check out some of these fun facts:



Dildos in one form or another have been present in society throughout history. Artifacts from the Upper Paleolithic which have previously been described as batons were most likely used for sexual purposes.



There have been many references to dildos in the historical and ethnographic literature. Haberlandt, for example, illustrates single and double-ended wooden dildos from late 19th century Zanzibar.


The world's oldest known dildo is a siltstone 20-centimeter phallus from the Upper Palaeolithic period 30,000 years ago that was found in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm Germany.



Findings of the archaeologists show that ancient Egyptians used dildos 2,500 years ago.

Also these sex toys were used by ancient Greeks. A vase with a woman using a dildo depicted on it was found. This vase was made in the fifth century B.C. Another ancient Greek vase of about the 6th century B.C. depicts a scene in which a woman bends over to perform oral sex on a man, while another man is about to thrust a dildo into her anus.


The first dildos were made of stone, tar, wood and other materials that could be shaped as penises and that were firm enough to be used as penetrative sex toys.



Chinese women in the 15th century used dildos made of lacquered wood with textured surfaces. Geishas sound familiar?



With the invention of modern materials there appeared the possibility of making dildos of different shapes, sizes, colors and textures. In 1966 Ted Marche pioneered the manufacturing and distributing of rubber dildos and other sex toys, thus introducing the dildo that most of today's society is familiar with.



Point being, dildos have been around for centuries for a reason...they can be extremely enjoyable. And with modern times comes a little device I like to call a "little slice of heavenly naughtiness"...the vibrator. Seriously people, if you haven't tried a vibrator yet, this is a must do. But only if you are completely capable of attaining an orgasam through self pleasure. If you start to rely on a vibrator to get you there, it can be hard for you to attain orgasm without it.

These days they make vibrators that can fit in your purse, but they also make them large enough to pleasure almost any woman. They come in silicone, glass, metal and myriad other materials. And they are fun for use with your partner, not just for you to use by yourself. You would be surprised at how open (and thrilled) your partner will be to trying something new! It is how you keep the flame hot and burning steadily.



Kisses xxx

Food for Thought

Food plays a great role in sex. Not a particular surprise to most people...everyone has heard those sayings that green M&Ms make you horny or oysters enhance men's stamina, but there is more to it than that. According to Men's Health website, there are some foods that are better than others to push our sex drives into overdrive. To pump things up, try one of these smoothies half an hour before crunch time:

Smoothie for Him
The Built-to-Last Power Smoothie

1 cup blueberries
1 cup vanilla yogurt
2 Tbsp flax seeds
1 cup orange juice
1 cup ice

Consider this man’s ultimate erection insurance. The main reason? It’s loaded with two of the most potent circulation enhancers out there: soluble fiber and antioxidants. Soluble fiber helps push excess cholesterol through your digestive system before it can be broken down, absorbed, and deposited along the walls of your arteries. Antioxidants attack free radicals before they have the chance to lower nitric oxide levels. And since nitric oxide helps deliver oxygen to your blood, the higher the level, the better your blood flow

Smoothie for Her
The Lusty Latte

2 shots of espresso (or 6 ounces of strong coffee)
1 cup skim milk
2 Tbsp dark chocolate syrup
1 cup crushed ice

More than just providing a caffeine buzz and a host of antioxidants, java increases blood flow to your genitals, making sensitive nerve endings more easily accessed and stimulated. A Southwestern University study even found that female rats wanted more sex after a shot of caffeine. Add to that a big hit of calcium, another important contributor to effective blood flow, and a swirl of chocolate, and you have a scintillating shake to wake up to. Chocolate contains a host of chemicals to brighten your mood, including anadamine, which targets the same receptors as THC, and phenylethylamine, which produces a cozy, euphoric feeling. It’s no wonder a new Italian study of 163 women shows that those who regularly eat chocolate report enhanced sex drive and sexual satisfaction.

Or opt for a breakfast in bed. The best breakfast to enhance an after-brunch sex session: a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Sandwich. The foolish see an Egg McMuffin; you should see the ingredients for sex. The combo provides extra zinc—a mineral that she needs to stay well lubricated and you need to keep producing semen—and niacin. This B vitamin is essential for the secretion of histamine, the chemical that helps trigger explosive sneezes and orgasms. It also has a perfect balance of fat, since studies have found that too much or too little dietary fat can decrease levels of libido-boosting testosterone.

Not to mention, food can play a great tool to seduce your partner. Remember, both men and women are visual creatures. Play that up. Anything that can draw attention to your mouth or other enticing body parts can be a great turn-on. Some foods to try: strawberries, chocolate (preferably dark), cheese. Any type of finger food works great. Also, bottled drinks or anything in a wine glass, when drunk from with with the proper technique, can be used to entice your partner. Also, try feeding each other. This can turn quite naughty very quickly! Use your imagination and set up a spread for both of you to enjoy.

Kisses xxx

Reflections

I don't generally post twice in one day, but I felt the need to address some of the comments made regarding my post about mirrors. In response to some of the comments posted on the "Mirror, Mirror" post, just remember that even though you cringe when you see yourself, your partner doesn't...otherwise they wouldn't be there naked with you! As far as women being the ones to be admired...well, I know many women (including myself) that can appreciate the beauty that lies in a naked woman, but from a woman's perspective, the naked male form is just as appealing to the eye. Men are so different from us...there is something intriguing and mysterious about the male body. It does to us what a naked woman does to you. As far as being comfortable in front of a mirror...just remember that confidence is the best beauty enhancer. When you know you're hot, you will become hot and your partner will make sure you feel that way because being confident only makes him/her hotter for you! Another reminder for the ladies: You are the only naked woman in the room, thereby making you the most beautiful naked woman your partner can lay eyes on and he is there for a reason. He sees something in you that makes you stand out from the crowd. You've got it, flaunt it!

Slow Motion

We've all had those times when all we want is fast, hard sex. Sometimes those urges for quickies tend to overshadow the other options we have. Stress from work, life and other outside factors like smoking, drinking and bad eating habits can interfere and make sex a bit of a chore. That doesn't necessarily mean we don't want sex, we just want instant gratification so we can move on with life. Bu faster isn't always better for you or your partner. Constantly thrusting faster will only wear you and your partner out faster. Instead of a few kisses and a bit of fondling before moving straight to the fastest thrust you can manage, try taking the time to really turn your partner on. Maybe start with a relaxing massage...naked, of course! Massage oils are always a nice touch, but not always necessary. You astride your partner naked will not only help them to relax more, it is also one hell of a turn on to feel your partner astride you naked. No matter which one of you is doing the straddling! Cheesy as it may sound, try lighting a candle or two...the soft lighting will add to the allure and sensuality of the situation. Or you might want to try reading a bit from an erotic book. I have found "Letters to Penthouse" full of exciting stories, some vividly detailed. Don't have a book handy? Talk to your partner about some of the new things you'd like to try...or maybe even those things you would only dream of trying. It is unbelievable how turned on both of you will get just picturing it happening. When you finally get around to penetration, guys, try varying the thrusts. Start out slowly and gradually build to a faster pace. When you feel yourself nearing climax, pull back and slow it down for a few thrusts and then build up again. You will not only reach orgasm, but your partner, who needs a longer time to get to her climaxing point, will join you for even more intense tremors of pleasure than if you just thrust as fast as you can until it's done. The object of sex is pleasure. Why miss out on more intense pleasure when you can intensify not only yours, but your partner's pleasure too? You will have her (and yourself!) coming back for more...pun completely and naughtily intended! Next up: thrusting techniques that she is sure to love!

Kisses xxx

Self Preservation

Masturbation...everyone (almost) does it, but not many, aside from guys, will admit to it. And even guys have a hard time fessing up to their partners. And why is that? Usually, they are expecting indignation on the parts of their partners. And you would be surprised how many women actually don't have a problem with their partners masturbating. But, due to the bad rap that masturbation has gotten over the years, it is generally a subject that is not up for discussion. Let's face it...men do it...women do it...and all enjoy it. Who knows, better than you do, how to pleasure you? But, once you've gotten past the embarrassment factor, is it an experience that you have have ever considered sharing with your partner? After all, you share almost everything else, right? But how to bring it up...well, that isn't all that difficult. I'd have to say the best time to bring it up is either during sex (this can be part of your "dirty talk"...it will really get your partner's mind wandering), before sex (if maybe the two of you are contemplating something different...it can really get things heated up) or after sex (when you are both sated ad full of pleasure, your mind will be open to anything!). I know it's a little hard to get turned on by the "technical" terminology, "masturbation," so use different terms instead. Try telling your partner about your last masturbation session...let them know that you couldn't get them off of your mind and you got so hot thinking about them that you had to relieve a little sexual frustration. Believe me, while thinking about watching your partner touch themselves most intimately is a turn on, it is nothing compared to actually watching it in person!!

Kisses xxx

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Most women, when naked and faced with a mirror, tend to cringe and shy away. All they see are their imperfections. Generally, men are the complete opposite. Men love looking at themselves naked and if they are in the throes of passion, well, that is even better. Having sex in front of mirrors has been around since before Jesus walked the earth. Centuries of men have had great mirrors installed so that they can indulge in the act of voyeurism. There was once a Roman emperor who had huge concave mirrors installed so that everything looked bigger...no I am not joking! But seriously, mirrors are a fantastic addition to any bedroom. Not only does it give you a grand view, but it also answers the age old question, "What do I look like while I'm having sex?" (I know you have all asked that question at some point, though maybe only in your mind.) And the answer may not be as bad as you would think. As I said, men love mirrors and women, while not as likely to admit to it, do too. There is something a tad naughty about admitting to enjoying looking at ourselves during sex. And having mirrors in your bedroom isn't as tacky as some of you might be thinking. It really opens things up and makes a room feel roomier. As for the naughty factor, well that depends on how many you put up and where. Most people assume the ceiling, but these days, what with ceiling fans and all, that isn't always practical. Not to mention, the person on top kind of gets cheated out of the fantastic view. Try hanging a good sized mirror above the headboard or on the wall opposite the bed, at just the right level. Or better yet, both! Given the right lighting (as cliche as it sounds, try a candle or two...it lights and shadows all the right places!) and ambiance (insert loads of great foreplay here), you should both enjoy the view! Another trick to try? If you've been wanting to make your own "dirty little sex tape", or even if you already have your own private library, try facing the camera towards the mirror instead of filming yourselves directly. It should actually improve the view and angle (especially if you are a bit self-conscious) and, let's face it, the fact that you've videoed yourselves watching yourselves only serves to make it all the naughtier!

Kisses xxx

Anonymously Yours

I was thinking over the weekend and realized that some people may be hesitant to comment or voice their opinion due to the rather racy nature of my blog/site and I completely understand. My whole belief isn't that you should discuss your love of being naughty with your kids, parents or neighbors, but that you should be open about it in the bedroom. Because with that comes a great freedom to fully enjoy yourself, your parnter and your sex life which can make a huge difference in your life in general. So for those of you who would rather voice your opinions and comments anonymously, you can e-mail me at thenaughtydiva@gmail .com and I will gladly honor your desire to be discreet and if you want, even post your comments anonymously. I also get a lot of questions as well, so feel free.

Kisses xxx

Hedonism at its Best

Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is of ultimate importance, the most important pursuit. So how many of you could stand adding a little of that into your lives?! All of us, I think. So I have discovered a resort that plays to that philosophy to the hilt. In Jamaica, at Hedonism Resorts, anything goes. They are an all-inclusive, fantabulous resort, where anything goes. And I mean anything. From swim-up rooms to mirrors on the ceilings to the see thru slide that winds through the disco, pleasure is the ultimate priority at Hedonism. You can do anything, be anybody and no one passes judgement. Why? Because every person there is in the same position as you. No, this is not some sort of swingers resort, although, I am sure there are some guests who participate in swinging quite regularly. You participation only goes as far as you want it to. They are well known for honeymoons and weddings as well as wild times. Looking for a new twist on your next vacation? Check it out...you'll love every minute of it! Can't quite afford the luxury and/or time required for a super inclusive vacation? You can have the same thing right in your own backyard. At home or a local hotel, you can turn your environment into a hedonistic den of iniquity! If spending an evening at a local hotel, splurge for a jacuzzi room. Pick up some candles (and something to light them with!), easy finger foods like grapes, cheese, sweets and a bottle or two of wine or other spirit and pack nothing but maybe a sexy piece of lingerie or naughty outfit . All that is required for a hedonistic weekend to be successful is you and your partner's willingness to focus on nothing but pleasure for both of you. This is the time to try something new that you've been thinking about and time for you to focus only on each other. Go back an read the "Art of Seduction" post and take advantage of it. Surprise your partner when they get home with a drink and a tray of finger foods. Have the location set up with candles and soft music and truly relish in the pleasure each of you finds with the other. Have a great weekend, I know I will!

Kisses xxx

A New Twist II

Alright guys...it's your turn to please your lady! If you've been following along, you have probably realized that it takes a lot more for women to get over the edge than it does for you. Women require patience on her partner's part. You have got to be dedicated to seeing it through, because eventually she'll get there and if you help her get there, she'll come back for more!
In your teenage years, you probably made a beeline for her panties because that was her limit. And with all that practice, your hand probably became magic. To both you and her. Let's face it, your goal was to make her so hot that she'd lose her inhibitions and the panties would disappear. Back then her clitoris was probably your focus and her hot spot. In a way, that remains true still. A clitoral orgasm occurs more often than other types. Yes, there are other types. According to Taoists, the female body has 3 gates of pleasure...yes 3. Want to hit them all? Read on...

Gate 1: The Clitoris
This is a gate you have probably passed through plenty before, be it with your current partner or previous partners. If not, it's time to get some practice. You are probably used to lying beside her during this activity. And sometimes, it works fine. For a new twist on the old, try sitting up with her lying between your legs, her back against your chest and reach around for stimulation. You can also try bending her over a chair or the bed, but I find that for most women, standing requires too much focus and the last thing you want is her being distracted. If she's not wet, don't worry. It doesn't mean she isn't enjoying it. Women don't become instantly wet the moment their interest is peaked. Well, okay, sometimes they do, but not always. This is where a good lubricant will come in handy. Start with a basic stroke, running you finger along the inner lips, slightly and gently brushing the clitoris. Now, come around to face her and let her lie back. Shape your fingers into a "V" around her clitoris and start a rocking motion by pressing down with a little pressure and then pulling back. Your arm should be moving back and up. Alternate the strokes and as she reaches climax, get her to bear down to heighten the sensation.

Gate 2: The G-Spot
This type of orgasm can be out of this world. It may be something she is hesitant to try due to the fact that she may actually ejaculate. Yes, female ejaculation is real. It is up to you to make her comfortable with it. Not only will you receive the "Best Lover Ever" label, it will probably serve to make you extremely hot! Now, before you get started, you may have to participate in a bit of "emotional foreplay". Because if she is thinking too much, it ain't gonna happen. Make her feel loved, hot and sexually adored before you get started. She has to be able to completely lose control for this to happen. And trust me (and tell her to trust you!) it will be worth it! Her g-spot is going to be located on the front wall of her vagina. Even those who debate the existence of such a spot agree that front wall stimulation is the best way for a female to ejaculate. This means that, with her on her back, you fingers should go in palm side up and curl up and around. The elusive g-spot tends to be rather high up, so it's okay to enlist the aide of a g-spot vibrator. Having her sit between your legs (as above in Gate 1 only facing you) might be helpful. Inserting your finger(s) or the vibrator, make as if you are beckoning someone. The area will feel slightly spongy with ridges and will raise the more it is stimulated. Now, don't forget, clitoral stimulation is not off limits. Use your other fingers to stimulate it. Massage her g-spot continuously and don't give up. It takes us women a little longer to get there. Alternate the massaging technique with the "come hither" motion. Whatever you do, keep going. As the pressure builds, try getting her to relax as opposed to her tensing them, which will be her natural inclination. Assure her that it will be worth it and that no matter what, she is the hottest girl you have ever laid eyes on. Tell her all through and don't be afraid to talk dirty...chances are she'll love it!

Gate 3 will come later on, probably in the book. I can't give away all the secrets, can I? Now guys (and/or ladies), go enjoy your partners and make 'em hot!

Kisses xxx

A New Twist

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Revel in the Moment

I feel it important to state that the whole point of sex, besides breeding, is to enjoy yourself & your partner, and enjoy the experience and the moment. Sex is about feeling and not doing. Because by feeling, not only will you "do" you will also attain a new level of physical feeling. You have to learn to focus on feeling it. Instead of taking for granted all the little nuances, enjoy them and revel in them. Make them the biggest part of your experience. The looks, the caresses, the seductive whispers...it heightens your sense of pleasure. Remember, you will always come across that one-night-stand at the local bar, but when you look back on all of your various sexual experiences, that one will be the one you remember the least of. It is the ones that you find yourself thinking of randomly...the ones you can't stop thinking about...the ones you want to relive time and again that are the truly mind-blowing experiences. That's all for now guys, but I always love getting input from readers, so let me know what you are thinking.

Kisses xxx

Sausage and Milk...Yummy!

Okay...everyone does it at some point. You look in the mirror and think, "Do I look fat?" or "Is my beard/mustache manly enough?" or any number of other thoughts that creep into our minds when it has been a while since our last "fling". We are our own worst critics. If we can't appreciate who we are, then how can we expect the opposite/same sex to appreciate us? The old adage goes, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" I will be the first one to say that there is nothing wrong with a little free milk every now and again. But remember guys, the ladies have also realized that they don't have to buy the whole pig just to get a little sausage either. And there is nothing wrong with free milk and sausage...I mean they're always giving away samples at the grocery store, right? But if you don't let the person you are giving it away to realize your value, then what is the point? That, my friend, is simply a one night stand. And while I realize that they do sometimes happen, they should not be the norm. You are worth way more than that. If you are going to have casual sex, at least have it with someone who will appreciate the effort you put in to getting him/her to sample the milk/sausage. In other words, make him/her work for it!! Seduce, entice, lure. And if they don't return the effort and the favor, then they are not worth it. Find someone who is. Find someone that wants nothing more than to jump your bones after your little show of seduction and enticing. You can see it in their eyes...they can't wait to get you naked and alone. And if you can't see it, move on, because if it isn't there after that, then it never will be and it is their loss. Those are the people that have stopped truly enjoying sex and what is the point if you can't truly enjoy it?!

Kisses xxx

The Art of Seduction

Seduction...it brings a lot to mind. Such as Kim Basinger in Basic Instinct for one. Or several other scenes in various movies like Sliver, 91/2 Weeks, Henry & June, and a multitude of others. But in real life, what does seduction really involve? If you are lucky enough to be a Kim Basinger or Sharon Stone look-a-like and "live"-a-like, then congrats to you. You probably have no need to hear what I am about to say. But to those of us out there who are real people and not Hollywood stars living on a movie set, then read on...

Webster online defines "seduction" as being lead away from a usual or proper course by offering some pleasure or advantage. When trying to seduce the opposite sex, this is exactly what we try to do to get their attention. There are a number of ways to seduce and be seduced both in and out of the bedroom. What I am talking about today will start outside the bedroom and hopefully end up in the bedroom.

For centuries, women have used the same method to seduce men. And it has always worked. We use our bodies to appeal to a man's sexual appetite. Men are visual creatures by nature. They enjoy looking, touching, tasting a woman's body. But remember, don't give it all away. Make him work for it. Because if you do give it all away up front, it defeats the purpose and makes our ultimate goal impossible. If not impossible, then their isn't the same urgency as if you were to keep a little mystery about it. Our goal, ladies, is to get him into the bedroom. If you display it all up front, then what's the rush? He has already seen it and it is no longer his number 1 priority. Displaying just the right amount of skin...a hint of your breasts, a shirt that gives glimpses of your waist and the small of your back, a skirt that shows off your legs, but not so short that all he has to do is drop something to see it all. Our goal is to heighten the senses and make him want to jump your bones! Don't get me wrong. There is always a time and place for showing it all up front. Like when you are waiting in a sexy piece of lingerie or a naughty school girl outfit when he gets home from work or when you walk out of the bathroom and surprise him in nothing but a pearl necklace around your neck. But those are treats and we are talking about everyday seduction. A way to build anticipation. Wear a low cut shirt and make sure you lean over him while he is sitting at the computer or on the couch. It will make him want to see more. Or, if wearing a skirt, make sure he gets a glimpse of your upper thigh when you sit down. Better yet, don't wear anything underneath and whisper in his ear that you aren't wearing any panties, but whisper it when he can't do anything about it, like at a restaurant or before you put the kids to bed. Make him visualize...the more time he has to think about it, the more intense he will be in his desire for you. Another thing, when you are having dinner together, use the food as part of your seduction. Anything that draws attention to your mouth will put his sex drive into overdrive!
Guys, women are just as visually driven as you are. It may be slightly different, but we are still visually stimulated. The one thing that gets a majority of women is not how you look, but how you look at her. The number one trait that women pay attention to the most in the opposite sex, besides personality, is eyes. Women are suckers for eyes. And it's not about blue eyes or brown eyes or any other color, it's about what you can say with your eyes. And believe me, you boys can say a lot! Even if you don't realize it. Undress her with your eyes, she'll know exactly what you are doing and she will love it! Talk about butterflies in her stomach...it will make her mind spin. Give her one of those really intense stares that tells her you are thinking about her naked and thinking about what all you want to do to her. Trust me, she will be able to sense it. Aside from the looks, she likes to know what you are thinking. So, whisper in her ear what you'd like to do to her when you have her alone...but do it when she can't do anything about it but squirm. For example, whisper in her ear, "I can't wait to get you naked and flat on your back" when you are at the movies waiting for it to start. Or try telling her that you want, more than anything, to feel her naked skin pressed against yours when you are eating dinner in public. She will probably flush and give you a dirty grin that tells you she'd like the same thing.
The key to seduction is to draw it out and make it last. Start early in the evening or day. The longer your partner has to think and visualize, the better it will be. They will be chomping at the bit to get you into bed!

Kisses xxx

Being a Good Lover...

Okay...for the sake of women everywhere, I feel the need to express the importance of being a good lover. A good lover encompasses many things. You have the emotional side, which is a lot harder to attain, and the physical side which is the easiest. As far as being a good lover emotionally, there isn't really a lot I can say aside from the obvious...love your partner for who they are, not who you wish they were. It is amazing what can happen when you stop trying to change them and mould them into what you want them to be and just start letting them be who they want to be. The freedom in that is what leads to long term success emotionally. When you love each other unconditionally and let each other just be, a certain freedom comes that can't be taken away. This freedom can create incredible happenings in the bedroom. When you aren't constantly worried about whether or not you are good enough for your partner, you become a whole new person...you become you. You feel free to express yourself, to be more outgoing, and with that comes new revelations and a lot of fun! As far as being a good lover physically, what is most important is remembering to focus on them. In doing that, nothing gets missed. You are the center of someone' attention and so are they. Making sure they receive pleasure is your only goal. Remember guys, it takes women longer to attain that pleasure than it does for you. Knowing your way around her body certainly helps, so if you're a little unsure of her hot spots, check out some of my earlier posts. Girls, same for you...if you are focused on giving him pleasure, then he will automatically want to see to your pleasure in return. I am lucky that my partner is so incredible. Though he may not know it, he leads me to a lot of my revelations.
Anyway, posts are becoming a bit more spaced out because I've been working on compiling data from the first round of surveys. Round two will be going out in the next week or two, so all of you on my list, be ready...for those of you not on my list, but interested in contributing (anonymously, of course) any and/or all of your carnal knowledge of the opposite or same sex, send me a message and let me know so I can get you added to my contact list. For now, remember this...pleasure your partner first and foremost and yours will be guaranteed!

Kisses xxx

Role Playing 101

Role-playing...it tends to conjure up different images for all of us, but one thing is for sure...it conjures up a very pleasing image one way or another. If you and your partner have tried it, then you know that the result is definitely worth the effort. Not only is it fun, it really isn't as embarrassing as some of you are thinking. If you have never tried it before, you may have some concerns, such as will he/she think I'm a freak? Or, maybe you will worry about whether or not you will actually be able to go through with it. Well, let me tell you...try it. Just once and you will be convinced. Role-playing is not something to be done everyday. It is one of those thing that you pull out of your hat every now and then to spice things up. I will tell you this right now...go into it with an open mind, confidence, and anticipation of enjoying yourself. These are your three keys to success. You can try finding out what your partner would enjoy ahead of time. Everyone has thought about it at least once. In our sex-driven society, who can't? It may be easier to broach the subject either during or after sex, since you are both already in that frame of mind and quite possible feeling so on top of the world that you would be willing to share anything. Some scenarios to try? Teacher/student, master/slave, cop/robber, doctor/nurse/patient, stranger caught unawares...these are some of the more "standard" ones. There are a world of others if you will only open up your imagination. There are a ton of naughty costumes out there for both guys and girls including military, fairy, fairy tale, angels, devils, racing digs, super heros, story book (Snow White, Little Bo Peep, etc.)...the possibilities are endless. Once you have chosen your scenario and the "big day," make sure you have plenty of uninterrupted time together. Trust me, no matter how shy your partner or you, you or he/she will lose that feeling within about 5 minutes. It is almost impossible to feel that way when your partner is looking at you like they can't wait to devour you. Want to get ballsy? Bring a camera into the picture...be it a still or video, but just make sure you trust who you are doing that with so you don't wind up on "Naughty Amateurs II, Role Playing 101" on the net. Then, just let things go where they may. It is a lot of fun, and a chance for you to focus on nothing but the two of you and your respective pleasures! Have fun and get creative. Check out my poll and let me know your favorite "basic" role-playing fantasy...it's anonymous, I promise!



Kisses xxx

Pornography...Yea or Nay?

Let's face it...pornography has been around for generation upon generation. I looked up the definition of pornography, out of curiosity and got two completely different responses:
http://www.dictionary.com/
–noun
obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit. Interesting observation...probably written by some prudish closet-porn addicted school marm. More accurately, Webster's definition is a bit more pleasurable:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/
-noun
1 : the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2 : material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement
3 : the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction
Pornography really is worth another look, especially these days. Most guys enjoy various forms of pornography, be it mags, videos, or internet porn. Most women feel that if their man is looking at porn, then they are lacking something in the bedroom. Not entirely true. Pornography is meant to elict sexual excitement. Have you ever had those days when it seems nothing can get you in the mood? Try a little fantasy reading or a mild porn video. Trust me, it will work like a charm! Pornography has gotten a bad wrap, too. Many women feel that it is degrading and entirely fake and some of it is. But there are the good ones out there too! Erotica, or pornography videos that are made for women by women, (which is promoted on the back, or just ask the store clerk for some help) are everywhere and much more appealing to women. Get rid of your reservations...next time your honey wants to watch a porn video, tell him you'll join him if he'll let you pick the flick...He'll probably be so surprised and eager that he'll readily agree to it. And if you are still uncomfortable, try easing into it with a soft-core selection such as 9 1/2 Weeks or The Postman Always Rings Twice. Just remember a few things...do try a few. Be it videos or magazines or erotic books, give it a fair shot before you dismiss it. Do have it playing in the background. Look up every once in a while and maybe you'll be inspired by a particular thing you'd like to try. You'd be surprised at how erotic the sights and sounds can really be. Do remember to laugh. Porn isn't meant to watch from start to finish like a traditional movie. And there is a bit of comic relief in all of them. It will make you more comfortable if you can laugh at the truly laughable. Don't take it personally if your partner like to watch or look at porn. It doesn't mean they are not happy with you. It is really no different than role-playing. It is simply a tool to be used to spice things up a bit. Don't rely on it to get you in the mood. Bad habits die hard. Don't push it off onto your partner. If they don't enjoy it, leave it be. At the same time, don't pressure your partner to stop watching or looking at porn just because you don't like it. As long as it isn't excessively violent or child-related, it's their business. Just ask them politely to do it on their own. Respect each other's wishes. Don't feel guilty about being turned on by it. See the above definition. You are not a pervert for being turned on by it. As long as it is appropriate porn. There is a definite line between appropriate and inappropriate. Aside from all of that, enjoy it and give it a chance. You might just be surprised!

Kisses xxx

Guys (and you ladies as well), Listen Up!

Okay, for all you guys out there, I am going to give you some much needed help when it comes to dealing with your women. To women, sex is not just sex. Especially if you are in either a long term relationship or married. Sex is a lot more than sex. She has sex with her body and her mind. To her, sex is a chance to be extremely close to the one that she loves the most. It gives her a chance to connect to you in a way that is impossible through everyday occurrences. It heightens her level of respect for you, her feelings for you emotionally and physically and helps remind her that even though you both have busy schedules, she is important to you. It helps her validate herself, as a woman, and her relationship with you. To her, sex is emotional. When she has sex with you, she is giving herself, mind-body-soul, to you. She is letting her guard down and making herself vulnerable. She is offering herself to you in the most intimate way possible. This is a part of her that is for you and you only. No one else gets to see her this way. If you reject this part of her, then your relationship will not only go downhill, but will roll downhill at an alarming rate. Let's face it. Like most couples, the two of you probably have sex in a variety of ways, there is lazy sex, crazy-good sex that is just lots of fun, quickies, and sometimes even just "animal" sex where it is nothing but sex. She is quite able to have "just sex," because she sees sex as a bigger picture. She needs you to recognize that for her, sex isn't just sex. She is not asking for sex to become all emotional for you. We, as women, realize that that just isn't going to happen with most of you guys out there. Just like for most of us women out there, sex will never be just sex. What is important to both of you is recognition and acceptance. You both need to recognize and accept what sex is to each other. In doing this, you are able to give each other what you both need. Which, in the long run, can make sex even better. If you don't understand and are just completely lost, ask your partner. If they try and explain it and you are still completely lost, be patient and ask for more detail. Give them a chance to explain and give yourself a chance to understand. Understanding doesn't mean you have to change how you view sex, it just means that you will be able to give your partner what they need the most, which will make you all the more incredible in their eyes and quite possibly make you the person he/she loves and wants to be around the most. And if you can't handle that, then you are in the wrong place with the wrong person. Just remember to open your mind and try. At the very least, you will get an "A" for effort and she will definitely appreciate it even if you are still lost, because you have just made her feel important enough to put effort into. That will score you major brownie points!

Kisses xxx